Two Brits, Two Hikaris, and Two BatWings
by Aquailita
Summary: After almost being scarred for life by the physical aspect of Marik and Bakura's relationship, Ryou is given his own body and moves in with them. The three of them have figured out how things are going to go from then on, and life is going as smoothly as it possibly can for the three of them. But everything that was fixed is about to fall apart. Sequel to FDtBE, 3rd in a trilogy.
1. A Week Later,,,

Two Brits, Two Hikaris, And Two BatWings

Summary: Ryou and Bakura have been physically separated by the authoress, Melvin is no longer a character in these two stories, and Ryou lives in the same apartment as Marik and Bakura. Things have been settled and calmed down, however much Bakura argues with his hikari (Ryou) or his gir- I MEAN BOYfriend (Marik). But everything that was fixed in Flattening Down the Bunny Ears is about to fall apart. But not necessarily in a bad way. YGOTAS. Yaoi. Thiefshipping! Deathshipping? SLENDERMAN?! WHAT?!/?!1/!?1 Sequel to Flattening Down the Bunny Ears, the third in a trilogy

Alternate Summary: After almost being scarred for life by the physical aspect of Marik and Bakura's relationship, Ryou is given his own body by the authoress, and now lives with them. The three of them have figured out how things are going to go from then on, and life is going as smoothly as it possibly can for the three of them. But everything that was fixed in Flattening Down the Bunny Ears is about to fall apart. But not necessarily in a bad way. YGOTAS. Yaoi. Thiefshipping! Deathshipping? SLENDERMAN?!

Characters: Marik Ishtar, Yami Bakura, Ryou Bakura, Sle- erm... and no one else.

Rating: T, because you know why

Genre: Humor, Romance, and Awesome (Oh wait...awesome is not a genre, is it? Well it should be! What genre are we supposed to put for fanfics about Prussia?!)

* * *

**I said I would do it! And I did it!**

**Yes! What started with "Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings)" has now ****become a trilogy! What shall I call it? Erm... EBH. Erogenous British Hair (EBH)****. Yes! That's perfect! But if you think of another and better name, by all means suggest it to me!  
It is HIGHLY recommended- practically mandatory- that you read the first two before reading this one. This is a series, with the stories highly connected. Even more so than those of the ToLaD trilogy. You could enjoy the 3 fanfics in that trilogy separately perfectly fine without having to read all three, even if they are connected. But not with this one. With this story, you have to start at the beginning. Go read ICaBBE(oBW) now, if you haven't already, then read FDtBE!**

**So. Just to let you know... NO Slenderman will NOT be in this fanfic. ****YES, Melvin is STILL no longer a character in either FDtBE or this ****story. YES, Ryou is still slightly traumatized from chapters 3 and 4 of Flattening Down the Bunny Ears. ****Yes, Marik still is a Heta-freak fanboy. Yes, Bakura's bunny ears/****batwings are still VERY similar to the Italy Brother's curls. Yes, Ryou likes Skylanders, Yes, Bakura likes Happy Tree Friends because of all the blood.  
****Will there be a lemon in this? Will the rating go above T again? Uh... ****I don't know and hopefully not.**

**You know how much I'm dedicated to this story still? I'm STILL typing ****this on my old iPod, the one with the broken home button that I have ****to turn off and on just to change applications! I love this series too ****much to change iPods.**

**Anyway...**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, or any of the character/__trademarks in those. I DO, however, own a Hetalia shirt._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik and Bakura were in the living room, watching Hetalia. Marik was wearing his Hetalia shirt that was cut off at the midriff. Ryou was hiding away in his soundproofed roomates the end of the hall because he thought that Marik and Bakura might be having sex or something like that.

Sound familiar? It should. Because this is almost _exactly_ how Flattening Down the Bunny Ears ended off.

However, this isn't Flattening Down the Bunny ears, and it is exactly a week later.

Marik somehow convinced Bakura to watch another episode of Hetalia with him. This time, it was an episode that had nothing to do with Italy or Romano or anyone else in the show that had the same type of hair Bakura did. By that, I mean erogenous hair.

Yeah. You read that right.

If you have no clue where the frig that idea came from, you have some catching up to do, and need to go read not only "Flattening Down the Bunny Ears" but also "Italian Curls and British Bunny Ears (or Bat Wings)". Seriously. Go do it now, if you haven't already!

So anyway... The two of them are watching Hetalia peacefully and calmly. All is calm in the appartment the three of them share.

But knowing Marik, Bakura, and Ryou, you know that this is all going to change at some point in the day, don't you?

How about right now?

* * *

Suddenly, Bakura's eyes widened. Marik noticed and paused the video. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Bakura's eyes returned to normal and he looked at Marik. "Uh... Ryou just told me something. I have to go over there and deal with him."

"What did he say?"

"It's a Bakura thing. You do not want to know nor do you need to know. I should be back in several minutes." He removed Marik's arm from around his shoulder and stood up.

Marik stood up as well. "Uh... Okay. I have to get something from my room anyway. Knock on my door when you finish with him."

Bakura stopped focusing on him and just stared straight ahead. But he was still vaguely listening, so he nodded slowly.

He walked into the hallway and headed for Ryou's room.

Marik also walked into the hallway, but headed for his own room.

He heard Bakura knocking on the British hikari's bedroom door. Marik froze in the doorway when he heard Ryou's door unlock and open, and then slam shut. The room was soundproofed, so he wouldn't be able to hear anything that went on inside.

Marik wondered what was about to happen and wondered if he should be concerned. After a moment or two, Marik went into his room and closed the door.

* * *

**This is where the "preview" in the second-to-last chapter of Flattening Down the Bunny Ears left off. What happens next, you may wonder? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!**

**This story will NOT have a set update schedule. It would be safe to assume that I hope to update at least once a week, but this isn't set in stone. I decided not to have a schedule, and instead I will update when I feel like it. I'll mostly update once a week, but I might occasionally update more than once. I just don't want to be tied down by a schedule for this. But I will update often. As always, I have most of the story typed out on my iPod already and all I need to do is send it to myself and site-edit everything as I go along.**

**I lied in this first chapter. But where?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	2. Hikari Hunting

**SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ya!**

**This chapter had been giving me trouble for a while because it wasn't very well written and it was boring, but I changed it up and added to it. Hope you like!**

**Anyway...let's get right into it!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, or any of the character/__trademarks in those. I DO, however, own a Hetalia shirt._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Several minutes later, Marik reemerged from his room and exited the hallway. There, he found Ryou and Bakura by the front door. Ryou was backed up against the door and Bakura was several feet in front of him. The two were facing each other. Ryou looked like he was trapped, and Bakura looked like he would try to tackle Ryou if he tried to make a run for it.

Marik recognized the look in Bakura's eyes as the one he had whenever Ryou was in trouble...

Ryou's eyes were wide. Then he spotted Marik. His terrified gaze met Marik's questioning one. "Marik! Hand me your Millenium Rod! Now!" he shouted frantically.

Bakura glanced behind him, at Marik. "Why the frig..." Marik murmured. Then a moment later, he said, "oh I see..."

Bakura turned back to the door, where Ryou wasn't standing anymore. He had run off when Bakura had glanced at Marik. "Hm...very clever, hikari. But I'll find you anyway!"

He was right; it wasn't a very big apartment, so Ryou would eventually be found. The only place he could possibly hide would be in his room, and Bakura could easily get in there.

So the question was...where would Ryou hide?

"Marik, I'm going to check our soul hallway. You let me know if—"

"No. I don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to help you with whatever you're trying to do to Ryou! Come on, Bakura! He's your hikari! Be a little nicer to him. Hasn't he suffered enough in FDtBE? Between being almost scarred for life, being exposed to too much thiefshipping, and seeing you torment one of his fangirls, I think he's had enough stress and torture for a whole week. Stop wasting your time on him. Please?"

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "You're not siding with him against me, are you?"

"Of course not! I'm just not siding with you against him either."

Bakura sighed. "Fine. Don't help me then. I'll find him myself."

"Could you not?"

"Why?"

"Because! I don't see the point! Why are you after him anyway? What did he do?"

"It's none of your business. It has nothing to do with you and you don't need to know."

"Well I want to know." Marik held up a hand in the direction of the TV, which was still paused halfway through the episode of Hetalia he and Bakura had been watching only minutes ago. "He interrupted a perfectly good show! And this is a really good episode!"

Bakura's eyes widened in realization. "Oooh. I get it now." He smirked. "You're jealous."

"Jealous?" Marik echoed. He pouted and folded his arms. "Of what?"

"Of Ryou. You're jealous of how much attention I'm giving him, even if that attention is negative. Don't deny it. I can tell."

"Hmph." Marik turned away from him and looked at the TV.

"Marik, you really shouldn't envy the attention I give him," Bakura said softly.

"Maybe I have a right to," Marik countered. "Whenever something comes up with him, especially this past week, you drop whatever you're doing with me and go do whatever with him. It pisses me off. Before he started living here, it was the other way around!"

"Marik, don't think like that. It's only the first week. Things should—"

Marik turned his back to Bakura. "You know what? I don't care. Do whatever you want to him. Like you said, it's not my business."

Marik walked into the kitchen to get something to drink.

Bakura watched him for a moment. He sighed, then headed into the hallway to look for Ryou.

* * *

**Things get interesting next chapter, at the very end. You'll see!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	3. DESTROYING The Fourth Wall

**So remember when I said I lied? Well that ONE lie was actually TWO lies in one. The first lie is revealed at the end of this chapter. **

**I was mentally debating whether or not to make this one or two chapters, because it seemed like a good idea to split it where I did because I like there to be more chapters and therefore more updates and therefore more time for me to think ahead. In the end, I decided to not split it so we can get to the plot as quickly as possible. In the previous two stories, the plot got rolling within one or three chapters. This is the third chapter, and I feel like the big plot point should be revealed here. And the other half of it, I feel, would have been too short. Besides, I SAID that this chapter would be where the thingy happens. And it shall be!**

**I REALLY don't like how these first few chapters have turned out, so thanks a bunch if you're still reading by this point. It SHALL get better, trust me.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, or any of the character/__trademarks in those. I DO, however, own a Hetalia shirt._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"Marik, I checked all of the rooms and I can't find him."

Marik turned around and saw Bakura walking out of the hallway. He leaned on the wall next to the hallway entrance.

"Wonderful," Marik said sarcastically. He put his V8 down on the kitchen counter. "Even my room?"

Bakura's eyes widened. "Oh bugger...no I didn't."

As if on cue, Marik saw Ryou silently exiting his room, the door to which was close to the entrance to the hallway and therefore close to where Bakura was standing. He closed the door behind him quietly and started tiptoeing to his own room at the end of the hall.

Marik tried not to look at him so as not to alert Bakura. But Bakura saw Marik's eyes focus on something and turned to look.

He caught sight of Ryou and shouted, "Hey! There you are!"

Ryou ran for his bedroom door, but Bakura caught up with him and was only a few feet away.

Bakura had Ryou trapped in the hallway. It was a dead end. Ryou had Marik's iPod in his hand for some reason. All of the doors were closed. The hikari wouldn't have time to open one of the doors, close it, _and_ lock it behind him before Bakura caught up to him.

So Ryou did the only thing he thought would save his ass.

He shoved the iPod into Bakura's hand.

Bakura stared at it in confusion. _What the bugger is this for?_ He looked at the screen.

It was a fanfic. Bakura didn't really read fanfiction. He stopped chasing Ryou for a moment and read a few lines of it aloud, just to see why it was relevant. "'He shoved the iPod into Bakura's hand'...what?! What the hell is this?!" He looked at Ryou for an explanation.

Ryou just smiled. "Aquailita thought of it."

"What?! Thought of what? What are you trying to do? Oh you're just trying to distract me. Well it isn't going to-"

"Read the next line of dialogue," Ryou instructed with a wider smile.

Bakura read it, then his eyes widened. "Oh no! I see what's going on here!" He looked at Ryou. "No! I'm not letting this control me! I-"

"You just read your own line before you even said it, didn't you?"

Suddenly, a little bolt of energy shot from the iPod's screen into Bakura's forehead. His eyes widened for a moment before they went blank and he fell to the floor, similar to as if he had just been Mind Crushed.

"Bakura!" Marik shouted. He ran out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

Ryou breathed a sigh of relief, then pried the iPod from Bakura's fingers and closed the tab that had "Two Brits, Two Hikaris, And Two BatWings" on the page. He handed the iPod to Marik. "Thank you, Marik."

Marik eyed Bakura's unconscious body on the floor with a shocked expression on his face. "What the frig just happened?!"

"Simple!" Ryou said with a smile. "He read the fanfiction he was in. It caused a disturbance with the Fourth Wall and he fainted. Aquailita emailed the idea to me. She was inspired by something I did in randomgirl40's fanfic, 'monsters meets evil'. But anyway, now that he's unconscious, I should be safe. For now."

Marik glanced at Bakura again. "Erm...right...sure... Now help me move Bakura to his room."

Ryou nodded, and grabbed Bakura's ankles. After opening the door to Bakura's room, Marik grabbed Bakura's wrists.

They moved Bakura into his room and onto his bed.

Then they left the room and Ryou closed the door behind them.

* * *

**This is where I almost split it.**

**~TRANSITIONY!~**

* * *

Marik threw himself on the couch. "Ugh! These two are so exhausting! Aqua isn't even here and she's causing trouble!"

"Oh leave her alone!" Ryou said as he walked over to the kitchen to bring a chair into the living room. "She's had enough trouble from you!"

"Her?!" Marik cried, looking at Ryou incredulously. "Bakura and I were perfectly fine until you and her showed up! And you and Bakura seem to fight more than Bakura and I! Your stupid yami-hikari hate-love parasite-host relationship is starting to piss me off! Seriously. Makes me glad that I don't have to deal with Melvin anymore. He would probably cause even more trouble with Bakura. And me as well but still..."

"I agree." Ryou shuddered. "I'm so relieved that Melvin isn't in the story. He scares me and I'm not a fan of deathshipping."

"I'm just glad that Slenderman hasn't shown up by now to piss us off! I'm pretty sure Bakura would be glad, as well."

"Don't we live right next to him?"

"We do. But he hasn't show up in the previous story yet. I'm pretty sure that Aquailita doesn't want him in this fanfic, either."

"So he and Melvin aren't in and aren't wanted in the fanfic. Perfect! We should be safe, then."

"Sure..." Marik said with an eye roll. "I'll be in my room. I'm tired for some reason." Marik stood up and headed for the kitchen. He picked up his V8, finished it, threw out the can, then headed for the hallway.

Just before he left, however, there was a knock at the door and the doorbell rang.

Marik doubled back and stared at the door in confusion. "Now who the frig could that be?" he wondered aloud.

Ryou moved from the chair to the couch, and watched Marik walk over to the door.

Marik unlocked the door and prepared to open it.

"You should probably look through the peephole first," Ryou suggested. "And don't answer it. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Shut up. This isn't your apartment."

"Actually, it has been for over a week now..."

Marik ignored him and opened the door.

He immediately closed the door shut. Almost. But the thing at the door put his "foot" between the door and the door frame so it wouldn't close.

"Heeeyyy, guuuuuuyyyyysss!"

* * *

**YES! SLENDERMAN IS IN THE FANFIC!  
What the fangirls want...well let's just say that the will and want of a fangirl is more powerful than the will and want of those she is a fangirl of. And the fangirls want Slenderman!**

**Okay...only ONE reader of this wanted Slenderman. But a LOT more people wanted someone else. And that someone else isn't going to show up for no reason...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	4. Slenderman: The Unwanted Arrival

**HELLOOOOOOOOOO AGAIN! **

**I keep almost forgetting to email the chapters to myself. It's because I'm still on the old iPod, and unlike the newer one I can't get my notes from it through Gmail. Anyway...**

**THE PLOT HAS ARRIVED! Or has it?**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"Ugh!" Marik put all of his weight on the door, trying to push it closed. "Piss off, Slenderman!"

"Hey, guuuuuyyyysss!" Slenderman said again. "Can I beeee in the fanfiiiiic?"

"No! Piss off!" Marik shouted.

Slenderman effortlessly pushed the door open, knocking Marik back a few feet.

"Hey, guuuuuys!" He said cheerfully, waving his tentacle arms around. "Is Bakura heeeereeee? I want tooooo ask him if I can beeeee in the fanfiiiiic. Can yooooou ask him for meeeee?"

"No!" Marik shouted as he stood up. "He would tell you to piss off as well! How the hell did you get here anyway? Aquailita doesn't want you in the fanfic."

"I found my way heeeeere through randomgirl40. I think sheeeee wanted meeeeee to be in the fanfic. I would like to beeeee in the fanfic. Can I be in the fanfiiiiic?"

"You already are! Now piss off!"

Slenderman looked around the apartment. He caught sight of Ryou gawking at him in confusion and wonder. "Hey, Marik, who's thaaaaat?" Slenderman asked. "He looks like Bakuuuura, but he looks toooooo cuuuuuute and iiiiiinoceeeent. Is he a child? Can I eeeeeeat him?"

Ryou's eyes widened. "No bloody way! Sod off, Slenderman!"

Slenderman's mouth pulled into a tight line. His tentacles stopped waving and he looked a bit taken aback. Ryou stared directly into where Slenderman's eyes _would_ be (if he had any) with a pissed-off expression on his face.

"Woooooow," Slenderman finally said. "Bakura aaaaalllllways tells me to piss off, but he has neeeeeever told me to sooooood off befoooooore. I like your styyyyyyle, kiiiiid. Can I eat yoooouuuuu?"

A random spurt of tea suddenly came flying at Slenderman's face.

Marik's jaw dropped and he looked at Ryou, who had his arm outstretched and his palm aimed straight at Slenderman's face.

"Sod off you bloody buggering wanker!" Ryou shouted after lowering his arm.

Slenderman frowned. "Geeeeeeeee. I can seeeeee that I am not wanted here. That is okay. I will staaaaay in the fanfiiiiic, but I will go baaaaack to my resideeeeecnce next doooooor." Slenderman's smile returned. "Haaave fun, guuuuyyys! Tell Bakuuuuura I said hiiiii! Bye, guuuuuyyyyysssss!"

At last, Slenderman creeped away.

Marik quickly ran and closed the door behind him. He locked every single lock that was on the door. Then he leaned against the door and slid to the floor. "Thank Ra he's gone! That was annoying! Why does he have to be _our_ neighbor?!" Marik focused on Ryou and smiled. "That was amazing! You got him to leave! Usually it takes Bakura and I a little longer than that to get him to leave us alone!"

Ryou smiled and blushed. "Why thank you! It was nothing, really."

"And by the way, what the frig was that?! The tea thing!"

Ryou held his hand up and turned his palm skyward. A moment later, a teeny little fountain of tea shot out of his palm. Then it evaporated. "That was my Tea Attack. I'm Limey Man, remember?"

Marik narrowed his eyes and just stared at Ryou while shaking his head. "I don't even... I'm going to go into my room to take a nap. This whole day has been so exhausting for me in more ways than one. If you don't want your blood on a Millenium Item again, I suggest you don't bother me."

Ryou looked down at the Millenium Ring, then held it protectively. When he looked up, Marik was already gone.

He sighed and stood up, turned off the TV which Marik had forgotten to turn off, and began heading for his room as well.

But just like with Marik, the doorbell rang just as he was about to enter the hallway.

Ryou's gaze shot to the front door. Then he looked at Marik's bedroom door. He waited a few seconds, but Marik didn't come out. The doorbell rang again, but after a few more seconds Marik still didn't emerge. He didn't know if Bakura was still knocked out, and he very much wanted to keep his blood inside his body. So he decided to answer it himself.

But he had a terrible feeling that he was about to make one of the biggest mistakes in his life.

* * *

**Yes. Ryou is Limey Man. Obviously. **

**The second lie is in the next chapter!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	5. SURPRISE! Another Unwanted Arrival

**OOOOHH! Who do you think is at the door?**

**Here's a hint: check the characters...or can you? *trololo face***

**This chapter will be VERY short. **

**Not much left to say. Here we go!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Ryou walked over to the door.

He tried to tiptoe and look through the peephole, but it was just a few centimeters too high. He simply undid the locks and opened the door.

"May I hel—"

Ryou's eyes widened until his pupils almost completely replaced his irises. "N-n-no..."

He slowly backed away from the door. The person outside pushed the door open and took a step inside.

Melvin.

"Not possible..." Ryou whispered as he continued backing up slowly.

He just had to make it to the hallway...

Melvin said only one word:

"Hey."

Ryou's eyes closed and he fainted.

* * *

Melvin's face: •_• "Uh...f**k damn it."

Melvin closed the door behind him, walked over to Ryou, and knelt down next to him. He poked the Brit's face. Nothing happened.

He stood. He looked to the left, down the hall. Then he looked to the right, at the kitchen. "No one here...? Or are they just in their rooms...?"

He looked down at the unconscious hikari on the floor. "Well it isn't going to be much fun trying to molest him if he's not even awake to resist or fight back or play along or enjoy it."

His plans delayed (but not ruined) for there to be deathshipping in this fanfic, he decided to wait until Ryou woke up again. Melvin picked up him up and carried him over to the couch. He laid Ryou's head on a pillow proped up against the arm of the couch and draped Ryou's legs across his lap.

And he began his wait.

* * *

**Now the plot has REALLY arrived!  
Deathshipping? Maybe?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	6. The Chapter Title DIED On A SHIP

**Remember what everyone kept saying about Melvin not being allowed in the fanfic? He's not supposed to be here. But how he managed to find his way in here anyway is explained in the chapter.**

**Okay. So I'm not a deathshipper. Not REALLY. I kinda am, but not really 100%. So forgive me if anything is...erm...idk off or OOC or whatever. I'm more of a thief and tender shipper, okay?  
And don't forget! If you read the previous story, Flattening Down the Bunny Ears, you would know that this story is supposed to focus more on Ryou. Not deathshipping. Ryou.**

**Anyway...let's go! On with the story!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Ryou's eyes opened. He slowly regained control of his body after having retreated into his soul room for ten minutes. Surely, Melvin had given up and left by now, right?

Wrong.

Because he was on the couch and he was right next to Melvin. He noticed that his legs were across Melvin's lap.

Ryou gasped loudly and sat up. He tried to roll off the couch, but Melvin quickly grabbed his shoulder and held him in place. He also grabbed one of Ryou's knees.

Ryou realized that he was trapped. He gulped. He looked at the yami holding him in place. "Uh...hi?" he said shyly and fearfully.

"Hey there. Had a nice nap?"

"Uh... I did..." Ryou tried to make polite conversation, as his polite English upbringing compelled him to do. Maybe conversation would distract Melvin? "Um... H-how did you get in the fanfic? I thought Aquailita kicked you out of this series?"

"Yeah... About that... Slenderman wasn't allowed in the story either, remember?"

"Yes. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well let's just say that my good friend let me in."

"Slenderman...let you inside...the fanfic?" Ryou asked slowly.

"Yup. He said that you threw a Tea Attack at him. Then he let me inside the fanfic. I decided to come and check you out." Melvin eyed Ryou from head to toe. "And I'm liking what I'm seeing." Melvin licked his lips very suggestively, just to freak Ryou out. It worked.

"Could you please not do that?" Ryou pleaded with a squirm. "You're making me uncomfortable."

"Not sure if you already figured this out, but that's the point. Making you uncomfortable is exactly what I'm going for."

"Well please stop it. I don't know what you want with me, but you're not getting it. Can you let me go now?"

All he needed was for Melvin to let him go, and he could let the Millenium Ring do the rest. Then he could escape to his room and lock himself in until Marik or Bakura came out and discovered Melvin. Then, they would keep him busy. Right?

If only Bakura were awake! He knew Bakura wasn't because their mind link was quiet. He could tell that his yami wasn't awake, but didn't know how to wake him up through the mind link.

"Mmmmm... How about no? Ha! I'm having fun right now just watching you try to get out of this!"

"Uuugnnnnnggghhh!" Ryou groaned. "Just let me go? Please? I'm not worth whatever trouble you're putting in..."

"It's no trouble at all! And I assure you that you're _very_ much worth it. Don't degrade yourself."

Ryou looked like he was actually considering that. "Well...I guess you're right. Sorry. I've been bullied far too much, and I seem to think that the world doesn't care about what I do. Even Marik and Bakura don't really care..." Ryou's face turned all sad. "At least the fangirls still care."

Melvin smirked and moved his head closer. "I still ca-" He moved his head away and threw his hands up in the air. "Okay you know what?! This is getting boring! Let's do something else!"

Ryou was so surprised by Melvin's action that he didn't even realize that the yami had let go of him. Ryou could have made a run for it or used the Millenium Ring, but he didn't.

"Let's go to your room. There's probably something fun to do in there."

Without another word, Melvin picked Ryou up again, slung him over his shoulder, and carried him down the hall to the room he knew belonged to the British teen.

Melvin opened the door, walked inside with Ryou, then closed the door, and locked it behind them.

* * *

**Yup. **

**Okay now here's a little fun fact for you about the relationship between me and deathshipping. I like it. I think its cute. But rarely will I ship it myself. I prefer tender to death. But if a fanfic has deathshipping and it's written well, I'll love it. But not by itself. And as for the deatshipping fanART? *shudders violently* NO NO NO NO NO! I refuse. I don't like deathshipping fanart. It's good art. I just don't like SEEING deathshipping. I'm iffy about reading it unless it's written well. But I cringe at fanart for deathshipping. I prefer theifshipping. That's just me. But I am writing deathshipping in this because you people want it and I need to work on it anyway because, as I said before in another AN somewhere, writers have to learn to get comfortable outside of their comfort zones.  
Okay we're done with that talk...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	7. Interesting Convo, Intriguing Hikari

**I couldn't think of a better chapter title.**

**UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH !  
THIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS CHAPTER. (~_~)  
But then again, all writers must learn to be comfortable outside of their comfort zones.**

**I don't think I reread this chapter for minor errors after site-editing it. I'm pretty sure that I double-checked it a gazillon times on my iPod before even emailing it to myself. So it should be fine.**

**Here we go! **

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Ryou sat on his bed cross-legged, his hands in the center of the diamond created by his legs, while Melvin leaned against the locked door, his arms folded.

Either he was screwed, he was dead, or things were about to get extremely awkward.

Melvin looked around. "Nice room you got here," he said. "It suits you, I would think."

Ryou's room looked almost exactly like his room in his old apartment had looked. There was a window on the right wall, which his desk was up against; a bookshelf to the left of his desk, in the corner; a computer table in the opposite corner on the other side of the desk, but he didn't have his computer and would always have to ask Marik for permission to use his instead; his bed in the center, up against the back wall and facing the door; his nightstand directly to the right of his bed; a giant case for all of his game-related stuff to the left of his bed, up against the wall; shelves built into the wall opposite the one the case was up against, for his puzzle-related stuff; his dresser up against the wall to the right of the door; the doors leading to his closet and private bathroom on the left wall; and a ceiling fan with sky blue blades.

The differences were the connected bathroom, the lack of a computer, the case for the game stuff (which used to be in the game room, not his bedroom), the closet (which contained the clothes that used to be in his dresser, which now contained random school stuff and whateverz), and the ceiling fan (before, his room had only had a simply ceiling light; no fan).

"Uh...thanks, I guess..." Ryou replied shyly and nervously. "So... Um... You...aren't going to...rape me or anything? Are you?"

Melvin laughed at that for some reason. Ryou couldn't tell if it was the creepiest sound he had ever heard or if he liked the sound for some odd reason. "No. I won't. But then again... It isn't rape if you enjoy it."

Ryou cringed. "Ugh! Will you just stop that! I _really _don't need you doing this to me!"

"You think I care?"

"Well... No. I don't."

"Smart kid, you are."

Ryou wasn't as uncomfortable in Melvin's presence as he had been a few chapters ago. But that wasn't to say that he didn't want Melvin to leave before something..._something_ happened.

He had one small solace, a single piece of information that could save his ass, quite _very_ literally his ass.

He knew that Aquailita was not an experienced or avid deathshipper. If the authoress wasn't a big deathshipper, then there wouldn't be much deathshipping in this story, right?

In the past week, Ryou had made it a point to read Aquailita's fanfics (the YGO ones, at the very least), to see her writing style and how she wrote certain things, which could (and was about to) in turn help him learn how to survive in her fanfics. He noted that "A Scar Stamp and A Sexy Shipping", according to her, would be the last time she deathshipped in a fanfic because that had been a little difficult for her. That was, again, due to the fact that she wasn't a very big deathshipper. She liked the pairing a little bit, but she herself wasn't an avid shipper of it.

So the chances of there being deathshipping in this fanfic were slim. About 30%.

But that didn't mean that there wasn't going to be _death_ in this story. Not by a long shot.

Melvin stared at Ryou for a few more seconds. Then he suddenly shouted, "Hey! You in there! Hello?"

Ryou flinched. He hadn't realized that he had zoned out. "Oh I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

"Nothing much. Just commenting on how smart you seem. I'm not Bakura, but there are certain things I just don't care about. Humanity, for example. Mercy is another one."

"Am I on that list?" Ryou asked, for some reason.

"No. You aren't."

The next thing Ryou knew, Melvin was also on the bed, sitting right in front of him. He blinked in surprise a few times and flinched, but stayed where he was.

Melvin grinned. He took that to be a small victory for him that Ryou didn't back away from him. He had his next moves all planned out. "You'll never be on that list. I _definitely_ care about you."

"Well, there's a difference between 'caring about' and 'being interested in' something or someone," Ryou countered coolly.

Well this was getting interesting. Melvin didn't expect that kind of response from Ryou. In terms of the conversation, things were escalating a bit quicker than he had anticipated they would. "And you think I don't know the difference?" Melvin asked.

"I think you know the difference," Ryou replied, "but I don't think you care about it."

"Or maybe I'm just not _interested_ in the difference?"

To Melvin's surprise, that made Ryou laugh softly. "Yeah... Maybe. I have no idea."

Melvin smirked. "You keep surprising me. I don't think I've ever been surprised more in an hour than you have surprised me in ten minutes."

Ryou stopped laughing and eyed Melvin curiously. "I... Wh-what?"

"You intrigue me," Melvin continued. "I like that." Without another word or another moment's hesitation, he grabbed Ryou's face with one hand and forced their lips to meet.

Ryou's eyes widened and he blushed lightly. He whatever ease he'd started to feel around Melvin instantly lessened. He tried to squirm put of Melvin's one-handed grasp, but it was no use. Melvin's hold on his chin was firm. Yet...it was surprisingly gentle at the same time. This surprised him so much that he actually stopped struggling for a moment to think about it. But he started squirming again when he felt Melvin's tongue slowly and gently run across his upper lip, then his lower lip. His blush deepened and he grabbed Melvin's wrist with both hands, trying to pry the other's hand off of him. Again, it was no use.

Once the British hikari gave up, Melvin forced his tongue past Ryou's lips. He started exploring and tasting Ryou's mouth with his tongue.

Had it been anyone else besides Melvin, Ryou would have bitten down in order to convince the other person to draw his tongue back. But Ryou didn't dare. He didn't know how the dark would react if he did that.

Instead, much to his surprise, he moaned ever so slightly. It was barely audible, but both of them heard it. Ryou convinced himself right then and there that the moan had been purely a physical reaction, and was not emotional or consensual in any way shape or form.

Purely. Physical.

Nothing. More.

Melvin thought otherwise. He marked the moan as another victory for him in his plan to make the inevitable happen: death and/or shipping. And/Or deathshipping.

One or more of the three.

* * *

***cringe*  
That is all I have to say in this EndingAN.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	8. Misinterpreted Mouth Movements

**Sorry that this chapter is kinda overdue and should have been updated last weekish...**

**Yup... everyone is happy with all the deathshipping.  
For you thiefshippers out there, don't worry. There will be more thiefshipping in this. When, you ask*? Uh...**

**HERE'S THE CHAPTER!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Only mere seconds after that moan, Melvin ended their kiss and let go of Ryou's face.

Although Melvin hadn't hurt him, Ryou rubbed the sides of his face as if he had. His face was still slightly pink. He was breathing a bit harder from before, due to the deprivation of air.

Ryou's mind raced. He couldn't think of anything to say except for: "What the bugger was that for?!"

Melvin just grinned at him. "Oh no reason in particular. Just a little 'taste test'. And..." Melvin licked his lips seductively and raised an eyebrow suggestively. "...I liked what tasted."

Ryou automatically clamped a hand over his mouth.

"That hand isn't going to stop me from kissing you again," Melvin told him. He briefly wondered if he should mention the moan, but had a feeling that it would be a good idea to save that reminder for later.

"_ell ho-elly ill e-er ou rm ryin_"****** Ryou mumbled from behind the hand.

"What makes you think that?"

"_i nt nw_"*******

The whole entire time, Ryou had completely forgotten about the Millenium Ring.

A short, but slightly awkward silence followed. Melvin just stared smugly at Ryou. Ryou stared back, his face wary and mistrusting.

"I thought you said it wasn't considered rape if I enjoy it," Ryou said, finally removing his hand away from his mouth.

"I did."

"Well, I certainly didn't enjoy that!"

"Oh, but you did," Melvin said with a smirk. "Don't lie."

"I'm not lying," Ryou lied.

"You are," Melvin insisted. "Don't think I didn't hear and feel that moan. And I know you heard it, too."

Ryou blushed visibly. "That was purely physical," he insisted, using the reason he had forced himself to accept. "There was no way that it meant I enjoyed it, nor could I have controlled it."

"Silly creampuff," Melvin chuckled. "Of course you can't control it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't mean you didn't enjoy that kiss."

"I-"

Without another word, Melvin grabbed Ryou's face again, this time with both hands, and kissed him again.

Ryou's hands automatically moved to Melvin's chest so he could push him away. But it was no use. Melvin wouldn't budge. He was too strong.

Melvin didn't start using his tongue until Ryou stopped trying to push him away.

Once again, Ryou gave up. He felt like he might end up getting hurt if he tried to fight back when there was obviously no escape. However, he didn't give in. He tried his best to avoid any tongue-to-tongue contact with the yami.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Melvin's tounge caught up with his. Without thinking, he tried to push Melvin's tongue away with his own.

Melvin just pushed back. Ryou groaned in annoyance, and tried to tell Melvin to back off. But his mouth was...occupied. So it just came out as a muffled moan. Not that it had anywhere to go but into Melvin's mouth.

Melvin must not have taken Ryou's actions as resisting because the moment he moved away from Ryou, he said, "You kissed back."

"I did no—"

"You did. Don't deny it."

"Stop doing this to me!" Ryou cried. His hands shot to the sides of his head and he shook his head wildly. "You're just trying to get into my brain and under my skin and I think it's working all too well so please just stop it before you find a way into my h- erm..." Ryou stopped shaking his head to think of a substitute for the word "heart" that began with the letter h. "Uh... Head."

"I know what you were going to say," Melvin said. "And fine. I'll lay off for now. We got time. Plenty of time."

Ryou suddenly felt a stirring in the mind link between him and Bakura.

_Actually_, he thought, _We _don't_ got time._

* * *

***I don't have this story fully developed. I have two parts of the plot figured out. Well two and a half. There's a hole the size of Kaiba's ego between them. Well, actually, only between the half plot and the second plot. The hole between the first plot and the second plot points is about the size of Kaiba's ego divided by the number of times Yugi/Yami has beaten him. XD  
**"Well, hopefully it'll deter you from trying."  
***"I don't know."**

**I will say this, and then I will leave you alone about it in the rest of my ANs. I promise. Okay. I'm a deathshipper. I like deathshipping. I am just not a death shippER. I don't write deathshipping. I support it. It's like me saying that I like kittens. It doesn't mean I'll turn into a kitten (but I wish...).**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	9. The Awakening Of Thief 1

**Short chapter is short. I'm sorry. I had almost forgotten about editing this on the site, and had to do it last-minute. The chapter was going to be short anyway.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

A second or ten after he felt a stirring in their mind link, Ryou heard a voice from down the hall.

"Hikari... I'm totally going to kick your ass. Literally."

"Oh bugger," Ryou said. "Bakura is awake."

"What?"

"He was after me earlier, so I ran into Marik's room to hide out for a while. I checked my email and I saw that Aquailita had emailed me with the link to this fanfic, or at least what she had written of it. She told me to mess with the Fourth Wall by making Bakura read his own line before he even said it so that I could knock him out. And it worked! But now he's going to be twice as cross with me because of it."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Eep!" Ryou squeaked. Despite his former discomfort with the Egyptian, he jumped up and hid behind Melvin, which was easy because the yami's body was bigger than his so he was hidden completely. Except for his hair. He flattened it down with his hands. Then he drew his knees up to his chin and tried to make himself as small as possible. He leaned on Melvin. "Please don't move," Ryou pleaded Melvin.

Melvin leaned back a little and placed his arms protectively on either side of Ryou. His eyes narrowed at the door. "Of course not."

They heard the sounds of the lock being picked.

A few seconds later, the doorknob turned and the door slammed open.

* * *

**Yeah. Sorry about that.**

**Ryou, why the sudden change of heart *winks at you (not Ryou)*?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	10. Hidden Hikari & Thief 2 Awakens

**HERE'S YOUR CHAPTER!  
OMG RUN RYOU RUN! (oh wait...he's hiding...that's right...)**

**I don't think I'm having as much fun with this story* as I am with others I'm writing (such as Triangular Hallway), or even as much fun as I had writing the previous two stories in this trilogy. But you guys really are having fun and loving it and that's all that matters for me. Besides, there's still thiefshipping in this, so everyone is still happy!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"Ryou you know you are _not_ getting out of this!" Bakura shouted. He looked around for his hikari, but only spotted Melvin. "Hm..." he mumbled. "I was so sure that he was in here... Oh well." He turned to the door to leave, but did a double take and whipped back around, his eyes locking on Melvin, widening as they did. "How..." Bakura said, taking a step forward.

"...the bloody hell..." Another step.

"...did you..." Another step.

"...get in..." One more step.

"...our apartment?!" With those two words, he took the final step, and was at the foot of Ryou's bed.

"None of your business, Florence," Melvin said. He leaned backwards a tiny bit more. "And unfortunately, your hikari isn't in this castle. Try somewhere else."

Bakura slammed his hands onto Ryou's bed. "Don't call me Florence!" His face grew furious and serious. "And listen here, Melvin, tell me where you've hidden my former host. If I find out that you've done something to him, I will torture you ten times worse than I will him for hiding from me. And you won't even get to go to the Shadow Realm while I'm doing it. Understand?"

"Perhaps," Melvin said casually, his face showing that he didn't take the threat seriously.

"Where. Is. Ryou?!" Melvin felt Ryou flinch, most likely at Bakura's volume.

"Again, none of your business."

"It is, too!"

"What do you want him for anyway?"

"He and I have some unfinished..." Bakura lifted his hands off of Ryou's bed and cracked his knuckles. Loudly. "...business. I'm here to finish it. What exactly I'm going to do to him is none of your business. Where is he?"

"He's not here."

"Liar."

"If he was here, don't you think you would have found him by now?" Melvin could feel Ryou start to tremble. The hikari pressed into him more.

"I have. I'm waiting for him to tell me the truth so I don't have to destroy you!"

"What?!"

"I know that Ryou is hiding behind you! You think I can't sense him? I've been in his body for over ten years! I can sense him. Ryou! Come on out now!"

Ryou cringed. "Okay okay okay I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry just please don't kill me, Spirit, please!" Ryou let go of his hair so it puffed up a bit and was visible from behind Melvin.

Bakura smirked. "I knew it." He folded his arms and had a triumphant look on his face.

Ryou crawled out from behind Melvin's large figure and looked at Bakura with sad and pleading eyes. "I'm sorry, Bakura," he said sadly and pleadingly.

Melvin suddenly grabbed Ryou and wrapped his arms around the slightly trembling light. "Back off, Florence," Melvin said coldly. He let Ryou sit in the center of his crossed legs. Ryou leaned into Melvin.

Bakura's eyes widened. He had, at first, assumed that Melvin had been hiding Ryou for his own purposes. However, he hadn't suspected that Ryou had been hiding behind Melvin for protection... "Ryou..." he breathed. He pointed at Melvin. "You're actually..._okay_ with this tosser being in your room?"

Ryou hesitated, then nodded thrice. Melvin smiled on the inside.

"Well... Whatever," Bakura said dismissively. "It doesn't matter. He can't protect you forever. If you leave now, I'll do it in your soul room so you won't have physical scars."

"Leave the boy alone, Bakura," Melvin said. "What the hell did he do to you?"

"Not what he did, what he has to do. We made a deal long ago. I would stop treating him like total crap and stop punishing everyone around him _if_ we do weekly torture sessions. He's due for one today, and he knows it."

Ryou cringed, and it was very noticeable by both yamis. He regretted the decision to make the deal, but wouldn't ever take it back. It was better to take the fallout for Bakura's evil and bloodthirsty nature than to have Bakura hurt others and then have them hate him more so than they already did. He couldn't help it. It was in his cultu—I mean _nature_!

"He's right..." Ryou said in a small voice. he was about to say something else, but Melvin interrupted.

"So?" he asked. "Doesn't mean I have to le you go with him."

"Actually, it does," Bakura said. "He's my hikari and you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do with or to him! I never bothered you with what you did to Marik, even though it bothered me. Now you do the same."

"Since when do either of us play fairly or by the rules, Florence?"

"Since never, but that's beside the point!"

Mevlin smirked smugly at him. "You don't have the guts or heart to force me to give him up." Bakura glared at him. "You don't dare try anything against me. Ever since Battle City, you've been scared of me. Ryou has been as well, but that's beside the point. The point is that I can take you on. Just try me, Florence."

Bakura frowned deeply. Ryou noticed a hint of uncertainty and maybe even slight fear in the spirit's eyes. Normally, he would have been surprised to see such a thing in Bakura's eyes. But this was _Melvin_ he was dealing with. Fear seemed like an appropriate response.

"Don't underestimate me," Bakura finally said, looking confident again. "I _can_ take you on. And if you don't give Ryou up now, I'll be forced to. I've changed since then. And so have you."

"Then come over here, Florence and do som—" Melvin cut himself off and zoned out with a neutral look on his face.

Bakura didn't like being ignored (which was one of the things he and Marik did _not_ have in common). "Hey! What? Hello?"

Melvin continued ignoring him.

Ryou noticed his silence. "Uh... Melvin? Are you..."

"Remember how you sensed that Florence had woken up?" Melvin asked Ryou, staring straight ahead.

"Not Florence," Bakura muttered under his breath.

Ryou nodded silently.

"Well, the same with Marik and I."

"So..." Ryou said, "he's awake?"

"More like..." Melvin zoned back in and looked behind Bakura. "...at the door."

There was a knock on Ryou's open bedroom door.

* * *

***But that's only because of the lack of thiefshipping in this and current and recent chapters (^_^)**

**According to spellcheck, both here and on my ipod, I don't know how to spell the word "apartment" correctly. No matter how many times any spell checker corrects me, I never learn. Probably never will. I'll become one of those people who dies old, STILL saying and spelling a certain word wrong. And then I'll come back and haunt people, writing that word over and over in its incorrect spelling for all eternity! XD  
Wait...what? This AN just got _WAY_ too off topic.**

**Um...  
oh yeah! Deathshippping...**

**WHAT?! DEATHSHIPPING IS TWO-SIDED NOW!? SINCE WHEN?!  
Tee hee hee. **

**Guess what? I've joined both parts of the main plot together, and now all I have to do is write the second part of the plot. Don't worry, that part is MANY chapters away, so I have time.**

**Be prepared for a short thiefshipping break in a few chapters, because I- I mean _WE_- really need one. **

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	11. A Secret Plot (not the story kind)

**HERE'S MARIK!**

**OMG SAD STORY! So here's the thing. My father somehow lost his iPod the other day. He knows that I have 2, so he asked me to give him my older one. But as you probably know, I still type certain fanfics on my older iPod...INCLUDING THIS ONE! Tragic, right? The old iPod is also where I first typed thiefslipping. So I have to delete all of my notes from it and transfer them to my newer iPod. This won't really affect updates, but it's a sad thing for me cuz a lot of my best and most popular fics started on that iPod (T^T). Sad, right?  
But like I said, it won't affect updates.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Everyone turned to the sound. Marik was there in the doorway. He was rubbing one of his eyes with his hand, and had knocked with the other. "There you are, Bakura," he said a bit sleepily. "Glad to see you woke up. Why are you in Ryou's room...?" Then he caught sight of his yami with his arms wrapped around Ryou. He woke up completely and his hands dropped to his sides.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Marik shouted at Melvin. "How the bloody frig did you get in the fanfic?!"

"Who the bloody hell said you get to say British words?" Bakura asked.

Melvin smirked and stuck his tongue out. Then he said, "Slenderman let me in the fanfic."

Bakura's eyes widened and he turned to Marik. "Slenderman was here?!" he asked.

"Uh yeah," Marik replied.

"Who let _him_ in the fanfic?"

"I don't know. Apparently, randomgirl40 was wanting Slenderman to be in the fanfic. I don't know how that is relevant but apparently it is."

Bakura facepalmed. "I apologize for the insanity of my fangirls."

"Apology accepted. But what are we going to do about him?" Marik asked venomously, pointing to Melvin.

"He stays!" Ryou cried.

Marik and Bakura's eyes widened and Bakura shouted, "Wait WHAT?!"

Marik wasn't too surprised at the fact that Ryou was in Melvin's arms because if there was going to be any other shipping in this fanfic, Marik knew that it was going to be death. And also, unlike Bakura (again), like he had done in ICaBBE(oBW) he had read the title and description.

However, he was still surprised that _Ryou_ wanted him to stay.

Melvin smirked. "Well I guess that means I stay," he said.

"No it doesn't!" Bakura shouted back. "Even with what little freedoms he has here, he is _not_ allowed to invite whoever he wants to be here, let alone _keep_ them here."

"Oh yeah, speaking of which..." Marik said. "What was Ryou saying to you earlier, when you left me to go talk to him?"

Bakura groaned and facepalmed. "You know what?! Fine! I can tell that no one will leave me alone until I spill practically _every_ secret regarding me and my former host! So fine! I'll tell you!" He lifted his hand away from his face and turned to Marik. "Do you remember last week, during the epilogue for FDtBE, when I said 'two hours' to Ryou?"

"Uh... Yeah?" Marik said. "Why?"

"Well usually I only torture him for half an hour in SRT (Soul Room Time), but I threatened to make it two hours instead. He wanted to negotiate lessening the time back to half an hour, and then he told me that he would replicate the prank from the ending of the first story _and_ would... Uh..."

"Tell them, Bakura," Ryou urged.

"Shut up!" Bakura shouted. He groaned. "Fine. He said he would hide and/or drink all of the tea we have."

Marik and Melvin stared at him. "What?! I'm slightly British, you know!"

"I thought you weren't British, just gay," Marik said.

"I know. But it's his fault. But that isn't the point! The point is that I got pissed off at him, and now he's in even more trouble than before!" He turned his head and closed his eyes, a small smirk on his face. "In fact, I think I'll keep the two hours."

Ryou's eyes widened so much, like before, that his pupils almost completely replaced his irises. He squirmed out of Melvin's arms and ran over to Bakura. He grabbed one of the spirit's wrists and looked at him wide-eyed and pleadingly and adorably. "No Bakura, please don't! I'm sorry! Please?"

Bakura opened one eye and looked at his hikari. "Heh. I knew that would get you over here. I was never serious about the two hours in the first place." He quickly grabbed Ryou's wrist, the one attached to the hand that was holding him, and that caused Ryou to let go of his wrist.

Ryou tried to break free and run back over to Melvin. Bakura pulled him close and turned his head so they were looking eye-to-eye.

"Listen," Bakura said, "you might as well get this over with now. The more you resist, the harder I'll make it for you."

Ryou's face saddened and is lip trembled.

Bakura tried something else. "If you come with me now, I'll let you do whatever you want with Melvin afterwards."

Ryou stopped struggling. The sad look on his face was replaced with one of extreme confusion and amazement. "R-really? You're actually..."

Bakura sighed and rolled his eyes. He didn't really want to say yes, but if he did and Ryou accepted, that would mean he could use that as a bargaining chip in the future. He nodded. "Yes."

Ryou's eyes widened and lit up, for some reason. Bakura figured it was at the thought of doing whatever with the psycho that was currently sitting on his bed. Then the light vanished instantly and Ryou's face saddened again. His shoulders sank in defeat, but the rest of him tensed up in anticipation. He closed his eyes, bowed his head, and sighed deeply. "Fine. Let's get this over with. I might as well."

Bakura still didn't understand why Ryou liked Melvin back, but he didn't really care. He would _definitely_ have fun exploiting it.

He smirked. "Good hikari," he whispered. He turned around and began leading Ryou out.

Ryou turned his head and gazed at Melvin sadly.

Melvin was sneering hatefully at Bakura. "Just a moment, Florence..." he said.

Bakura paused in the doorway. "Marik, keep Melvin from following me. Please? Thanks so much."

Marik, right next to the door, had just enough time to fold his arms and glare at Bakura—and know that Bakura _saw_ him doing it—before the two Brits walked out and down the hall.

Marik glared after them, realized something, and sighed. He decided to stop trying to be the good guy, since there were more villains than good persons present at that moment. _I'm one of the villains_, he reminded himself. _I shouldn't be trying to play the good guy. That's Ryou's job. I might as well side with evil again. And hopefully, Bakura will notice and start siding with _me_ again._

Marik whipped around, took a step to the side, and leaned against the opposite side of the doorway with his hand, blocking the doorway with his arm and like half of his body. He put his other hand on his hip and glared at Melvin.

The yami had gotten off of Ryou's bed and had made his way over to the door by the time Marik had blocked it. He stopped in his tracks and met Marik's gaze.

"Move," Melvin ordered.

"No," Marik replied defiantly.

Despite what one may think, nowadays, Marik had more control in the yami-hikari relationship between him and Melvin. Sure, Melvin broke out once in a while, but for the most part Marik had him contained and disciplined. Melvin wouldn't be able to make Marik move.

The intensity of Marik's gaze increase. He purposely made his eye twitch in a way that signaled something to Melvin.

Melvin's eyes widened, he took a step back, and raised his hands. "No...you can't possibly mean..."

Marik smirked deviously and raised an eyebrow. He nodded slowly.

Melvin's pupils narrowed. "Frig no."

* * *

**OOOOHHHH! WHAT IS MARIK GOING TO DO TO MELVIN?! WHO KNOWS?!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	12. An Ishtar Showdown

**OH MY RA! AWESOMENESS AND STUFFZ!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Bakura walked in about ten minutes later.

"I decided not to do anything to him myself. I just locked him in my soul room. He told me that the spirits that roam around it creep him out and bother him a lot. I don't have to waste...my...time...on..."

Bakura trailed off when he noticed that neither Marik nor Melvin was listening to him. Instead, both of them were on Ryou's bed, on their hands and knees, facing each other, and having the most epic staring contest in the world ever since Chuck Norris had a staring contest with his own self-portrait that had been drawn on the back of a photo.

Bakura stared at them. "Uh... Hello? Are either of you paying attention?"

No reply. They just kept staring at each other.

"Marik!" No response.

"Melvin!" No response.

"ISHTARS!" No response.

He didn't think their battle would end anytime soon, so he just continued talking. "Ryou is in my room, on my bed. The door to my soul room will open after half an hour in SRT, and he'll be free to come out. Like I said, I didn't feel like doing anything to him today, so he'll just be hanging out with the spirit phantoms that like to roam around my soul room and pester him and always freak him out immensely. He'll be fine. He's suffered _and_ survived through worse before. I'll be in my room with him. No one bother either of us. You do, I'm sending you to the Shadow Realm."

He turned away from them and started heading out of Ryou's room. He was about to close the door, but one of the two Egyptians on Ryou's bed suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs, stopping Bakura in his tracks and causing him to jump.

"I win, mutha FrUKing bitch!"

Bakura slowly turned around to see who had won. But from the outburst, "FrUK", it was obvious who had shouted.

Marik had his hands up in the air and was fistpumping triumphantly, looking really proud of himself.

Melvin, on the other hand, was facepalming and facebedding at the same time. He groaned loudly. He picked up his head and said to Marik, "You may have won this round, Marik, but I assure you that I shall win the next round, just like the ten other rounds I won before this one! And I swear on the fact that I can do a really creepy face that I will make the next one a Shadow Game and the consequence will be more than five wedgies!"

Marik gasped and stopped fistpumping. "You mean something worse than death?"

Bakura didn't stay to hear the rest of the conversation. "Get off of my hikari's bed," he murmured before walking out and heading for his room.

* * *

**lolz. A little bit of fun in this chapter. A little break from torturous Bakuras and shippings and death...**

**Next chapter will be even better.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	13. Thiefshipping, FINALLY!

**I think I was supposed to update this yesterday...**

**oops**

**And now we check up on how Baku and RyRy are doing!**

**(Fun fact about last chapter: If you're not a Hetalia fan and/or didn't know this, FrUK is basically a replacement for the F-word, or the Hetalia equivalent of "frig". Just because someone says it doesn't mean they ship it (FrUK is France X England). If you remember from ICaBBe(oBW), Marik ships USUK, EngGypt, GerIta, and SpaMano. Not FrUK.)**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair (I wish!), the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

After five minutes, there was a knock on Bakura's bedroom door.

"If it's Marik, come in. If it's Melvin, fuck off."

The door opened. Marik walked in. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," Bakura greeted back. He was lying on his bed, next to Ryou on the side away from the door, with his arm around the little hikari. It was so adorable of a sight, I almost mistook it for tendershipping. And I wrote it!

Ryou was unconscious. His face looked pained and troubled. "What's going on with him?" Marik asked.

"I told you before, or at least I tried to. He's in—"

"Your soul room. Yeah I know. I heard. I was just not responding because I had an epic staring contest to win."

"Sure. That's wonderful. Close the door behind you?"

Marik did so and walked closer to Bakura's bed. "How much longer?" he asked.

"I have no idea." Bakura removed his arm from around Ryou and waved Marik over. He stood up and walked around his bed to the other side. He sat down on the floor, leaning against his bed and patted the spot next to him.

Marik nodded and walked over to him. He took a seat on the floor next to Bakura and instantly wrapped his arms around the British yami's waist.

After a moment's hesitation, Bakura did the same to Marik.

A minute passed, no one moving.

Then out of nowhere, Bakura pushed Marik to the floor and leaned on top of him.

"HEY!" Marik cried. "What the frig!"

"First thiefshipping kiss of the fanfic," Bakura said with a sly smile, just before kissing Marik on the lips.

Naturally, Marik let it happen.

A few seconds later, Marik felt Bakura's tongue gently running along his bottom lip.

When Marik's felt that, he pushed Bakura's face away from his. "Hey! Not while Ryou is here!"

"But he isn't really _here_," Bakura reminded him. "He's in my soul room."

"Still. We wouldn't want a repeat of chapter 3, would we?"

"Chapter three of..."

"The prequel to this one."

"Oh. _That_ chapter three. Yes, we probably wouldn't. But you know... That would be a perfect idea for next week. We can tie him up and force him to watch us make out. That'll _definitely_ traumatize him a little."

"Ugh!" said a voice that wasn't Marik's or Bakura's.

They looked up and saw Ryou sitting up, cringing and covering his eyes.

"What the frig?" Marik asked. Bakura rolled off of him and both of them sat up. "It has _not_ been half an hour already!"

"Marik, it's SRT, not regular time," Bakura told Marik. "Since he's out, I'm guessing that half an hour has passed in there." He looked at Ryou. "Isn't that right, former host?"

Ryou didn't uncover his eyes, and he nodded slowly. "Anabell was being a total tart-faced tosser to me..."

"Who the frig is Anabell?" Marik asked.

Bakura shrugged. "I have no clue." He stood up. "He gave a nickname to one of them, I'd wager. Which makes no sense to me."

"Bugger off, Bakura," Ryou mumbled.

"Melvin is in my room," Marik said, also standing up.

In less than five seconds, Ryou was out the room and had closed the door behind him.

* * *

**YAY!**

**BTW, next chapter will still be Mari and Baku. We're not going to see what Ry and Mel are doing just yet...**

**AND THAT MEANS MOAR THIEFSHIPPING!  
\(^7^)/**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	14. Moar Shipping Of Teh Theifz

**MOAR THIEFSHIPPING YAY! \(^7^)/**

**This chapter...needed work. Took me a while to fix it up cuz it was awkward in one or two places but hopefully it's PERFECT now! **

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), Hetalia, or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"How convienent," Bakura muttered. "Now I don't have to deal with him for the rest of the day."

"What about Melvin?"

Bakura's eyes widened, then they closed and he groaned. "Ugh. Him. I'd almost forgotten about him. What _are_ we going to do about him?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?! He's _your_ yami. You should have _some_ idea."

"Well I don't. I haven't had to deal with this before. You have. With Ryou."

"Yes but we had help from A—"

"Oh! Right! We had Aquailita here with us..."

"I swear, if we have to call Aquailita into this fanfic to do something for us I will personally send her self-insert _and_ the real-life Aquailita to the Shadow Realm."

"Is that even possible? You'll have to shatter _and_ cross the Fourth Wall."

"It probably isn't. But I'm Yami freaking Florence Bakura, so I'll find a way."

Marik rolled his eyes. "Sure you will, Fluffy. Now..." Marik turned around and pushed Bakura onto the bed.

The Brit was caught totally off guard. "M-Marik? What are you...?"

Marik moved close and leaned over him, keeping his body only mere millimeters away from any sort of contact with Bakura's body. Bakura's breathing picked up a little speed from excitement, but he kept his face neutral (just to humor Marik). "I feel a little...erm..." Marik began. "I don't know, neglected?, these past few chapters. Make out with me some more. Now. You owe me."

"I'll be more than happy to oblige," Bakura whispered. In an instant, the facade dropped, a smirk crept onto his face, and he rolled Marik off of him and rolled on top of Marik. He put all of his weight on the Egyptian's body. "You're absolutely right. I _do_ owe you, don't I?"

Marik nodded.

"I really like how demanding you were just then."

Marik winked. "I know. I know exactly what to say to get you to—" Marik didn't finish his sentence because just then, Bakura's lips met his. A second or two later, their tongues met as well.

One of Bakura's hands went to Marik's waist while the other one slipped under Marik's shirt.

Both of Marik's hands went to Bakura's head and he ran his fingers through Bakura's fluffy and soft white hair because his hands couldn't think of anything else to do. Of course, remembering the mistake he made in Flattening Down the Bunny Ears, he kept his hands far _away_ from Bakura's bat wings.

They kept this up for another minute or two before deciding to end it.

They just laid down sideways on Bakura's bed, on their backs, looking at each other and holding hands.

"Oh my Ra," Bakura said. "How are you just _so_ sexy? Seriously Marik, you're so sexy you might as well be the fifth Egyptian God*****."

Marik giggled at that. "Oh, Bakura stop. You're making me blush! Ha! Hey! I just realized that you stole my idea! I was planning on saying that to you at—"

"Good thing. Don't. I don't want to be compared to the Egyptian Gods because are assholes who have screwed me over one too many times and deserve to be sent to the Shadow Realm."

Marik frowned slightly. "Then how is calling me one a compliment?"

"Because you'd make a better one than them (and no offense but I would make a better one than any of you), you're _my_ asshole, and as long as _I'm_ the one sending you to the Shadow Realm, it'll be special. Also I called you sexy. So shut the bugger up and take a compliment."

Marik smiled again.

Bakura sat up and shifted closer to Marik. He pulled Marik into a sitting position, tilted Marik's head down, and kissed his forehead gently.

"A little OOC, are we?" Marik asked.

Bakura shook his head. "No. I'm making up for the lack of thiefshipping thus far in the fanfic and trying to tip the balance with the amount of deathshipping there has been. Now..." Bakura stood up and pointed to the door. "Let's go make sure that Melvin hasn't destroyed anything and Ryou hasn't been raped yet."

Marik nodded and stood up as well. He walked to the door first. Bakura followed him. Marik opened the door and he and Bakura walked across the hall to Marik's room.

* * *

***The fourth is Lady Gaga.**

**And NOW we go to Ryou and Melvin.**

**Deathshipping? Maybe not...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	15. Cameras on Death

**Wondering why I haven't updated this week until today, or maybe you're here from tumblr because of my post about postponement? ****I waited until today to update any and all weekly-updated fanfics because today is a special day for a very special someone.**

**This chapter is a shout out and present to randomgirl40, my fellow fanfic author and thiefshipping fangirl, who's birthday is today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RANDOM!  
********She's also my online friend and one of my biggest supporters. If you didn't know, she is the reason why this story is here, and why Slenderman is in the fanfic. Basically, you owe the plot to her. Go check out her stuff, but only if you can handle the randomness!****  
**

* * *

**Now back to Ryou and Melvin!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

There, they found a fairly normal sight waiting for them.

Well...depending on your definition of "normal".

Melvin was sitting in front of Marik's computer, and Ryou was leaning on the chair behind him looking over Melvin's shoulder. The two of them were laughing.

The thieves looked at the screen. They were on YouTube. They were watching Charlie Bit My Finger*****.

Bakura facepalmed. "Of all things..." he murmured.

At the sound, Melvin and Ryou's heads snapped up and they jumped. For a moment, their faces looked guilty, but then they relaxed. "Oh...hello there," Ryou said in a small voice.

"You two aren't..._doing_ anything in here, are you?" Bakura asked accusingly.

"And if we were?" Melvin challenged.

"M-Melvin..." Ryou stuttered. He addressed Bakura. "We weren't doing anything," he said.

"You'd better not be!" Marik shouted. "This is _my_ room, after all. And how did you get onto my computer?"

"We know the password," Ryou and Melvin replied in unison.

"Oh. That's right."

"I assume that you two don't _plan_ to be doing anything that we wouldn't approve of in here, right?" Bakura said expectantly.

"Of course not," Ryou replied. "Why would we?"

"Just checking."

"Wait, where are you going with this, Bakura?" Marik asked.

"We need to talk about what to do about starfish-head over there," Bakura replied.

Melvin glared at Bakura.

Bakura ignored the glare. "Can we trust you two to behave yourselves in here while we talk about some very important things in another room?"

Melvin and Ryou exchanged glances, then nodded.

Bakura eyed them skeptically.

"Oh come on, Bakura," Marik said. "It'll be fine. If they do anything they're not supposed to, the hidden cameras in my room will catch them."

Bakura smirked. "Oh yes. The cameras. I had almost forgotten about them. We'll check the footage and audio when we're done talking." He turned to the door, took in Ryou and Melvin's worried expressions, then looked at Marik. "Let's go."

He walked out. After giving Ryou and Melvin a smug look, Marik followed and closed the door behind them.

Melvin and Ryou looked at each other. "Cameras?" Melvin questioned.

Ryou shrugged. "I had no idea. I've only officially been living here for a week."

Outside the room, too quiet for those inside to hear, the thieves whispered to each other.

"Good call, Marik," Bakura whispered. "Making them think there are cameras in your room will definitely keep them in line."

Marik beamed proudly. "I know," he whispered back. "I'm always thinking two steps ahead of everyone else."

"Well, it should make Melvin think twice about what he does in there, at least. It's not like Ryou would be a bad boy even if there _weren't_ cameras around. But uh..." Bakura's face turned wary. "Of course, there aren't..._really_ hidden cameras in your room...right?"

Marik walked a bit farther ahead. He turned around for an instant to wink at Bakura, then faced forward and continued walking.

Bakura's eyes widened and he gulped.

* * *

***Abridged canon: Melvin likes "Charlie Bit My Finger". I try to make that reference every chance I get. Kudos to you if you know what YGOTAS episode that's from.**

**Next chapter, we have a little fun. "Fun" can mean a lot of things. With Marik and Bakura, "fun" usually means either thiefshipping or arguing. USUALLY!  
But again, "fun" can mean a lot of things.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	16. The Fate Of The Roommates Pt 1

_**IMPORTANT NOTE!**_

**This monday, I start school. If you read that journal entry on deviantART about "My Life In Decline", you'd know what this means. This means that I am banning myself from any fun and fandom-relevant sites on weekdays, INCLUDING FRIDAY (unless something special/important comes up). This includes this site, deviantART, YouTube, ROBLOX, and tumblr. Any and all weekly updated fanfics, including this one, will ONLY be updated on Saturdays and/or Sundays. I MIGHT be on the site on a weekday if it's a no-school day or a holiday or whatever, but updates will only be on Saturday or Sunday. I love writing these fanfics for you guys, but I gotta stay focused on my school work. So don't expect ANY updates on weekdays. THE _ONLY_ EXCEPTION is in the case of seasonal school vacations (i.e. winter break, spring break, etc) OR if a fanfic is specifically scheduled to update on a specific day. "seasonal school vacations" do NOT include holiday breaks or weekends (because those are only a few days).**

**This pattern will continue all the way until the end of the school year. You'll know if I'm on any of the sites by my profile pic. If my profile pic is YGO-related (in the case of FF.N, my drawing of Ryou with that blue background), then I'm on the site for that day(s). If the profile pic is something NOT related to YGO or my fandoms, I'm not on the site and I'm focused on school.  
**

**More info can be found in my tumblr post.**

**(Fun fact: I have NEVER changed my profile pic on this site. This school year will be the first time.)**

**Now back to your regularly scheduled fanfic!**

* * *

**HELLOOOOO AGAIN!**

**Sorry about forgetting to update! I had stuff going on! I also rush-uploaded this chapter because I have stuff to do today.**

**Prepare for a LONG chapter. In this chapter, Marik and Bakura will be having a discussion/argument/thiefshippingmoment about the fate of Melvin and/or Ryou's existence in the apartment and/or the fanfic. This is going to be the most fun we've had all fanfic! Brace yourselves, cuz things are about to get a little crazy!**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

They sat across from each other at the kitchen table.

"Make sure to block your mind from Melvin," Bakura said. "Mine has already been blocked from Ryou."

Marik nodded. "Way ahead of you. If I hadn't, Melvin would have seen through the camera thing."

"Good. Now listen, this is going to have to be a _serious_ talk. Meaning that—"

"No Greatest-Head-Ever-Of-The-Greatest-Evil-Council-Ev er mode?"

"Wh–? I don't even know what that is. But that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that we're going to have to be..."

*dramatic zoom in and dramatic noise*

"...unabridged."

Marik gasped loudly.

Bakura gasped loudly.

Dramatic Chipmunk***** did that dramatic thing it does.

"This is inconceivable!" Marik cried.

"I know. It'll be difficult for me as well, but we can do it, and we'll have to if we're going to get anything done."

"So..."

"No saying frig or anything about Mega Ultra Chicken or 'oh my god cards'. And as difficult as it'll be, I'm not going to say anything British or gay or whatever it is that separates me from my original sub/dub counterpart. Are we clear?"

Marik nodded slowly. "Do our _voices_ have to be non-abridged also?"

"No. I can keep my accent and you can keep your annoying way-too-high pitched voice."

"F*** you Bakura!" Marik's eyes widened. He hadn't used that [EFF!] sound EFFect!

"That was the first step. That sound effect. Good. Now we can start."

"Okay," Marik said in his abridged voice but without that abridged demeanor.

"Good. Now here's what I think we should do. First, we'll lay out all possible plans of action. All _possible_, mind you. Then we can argue about all of them."

"Alright," Marik said as he stood up. He walked to the counter and opened a drawer, took out a pad of sticky notes and a pen, then moved to the seat next to Bakura instead of where he had been sitting before. "Basically, the only possibilities are that Melvin leaves, Ryou leaves, they both leave, they both stay, or we just kill Melvin."

"True, but there are different options for each of those."

Marik took five stickies and placed them on the table in front of him and Bakura in a row, several inches of space between them. On one, he wrote "Melvin leave". On another, he wrote "Ryou leave". On a third, he wrote "Both leave". On the fourth, he wrote "Neither leave". On the last one, he wrote "Destroy Melvin".

"Okay," Marik said when he was done. "So now what are the options for each of these?"

Bakura gazed at the five blue stickies for a while, then pointed to the one that said "Destroy Melvin". "Well, this one seems obvious enough. There are only two ways we can do this. Kill him physically or destroy his soul."

Marik put two blank stickies underneath "Destroy Melvin". "What about the Shadow Realm?"

"That won't destroy him. That would count as him leaving."

After writing "murder body" and "kill soul" on the two stickies, Marik put a blank one under "Melvin leave" and wrote "Shadow Realm" on it. "Okay. So I think another option for making Melvin leave would be to have Aquailita kick him out of the fanfic again. But you _really_ don't want her here so..."

"Like I said," Bakura said with a grimace, "we'll argue about the options later. Just write it down."

Marik shrugged and wrote "leave fanfic" on a sticky then put it underneath the "Shadow Realm" one.

"Write the same thing twice more and put them under 'Ryou leave' and 'Both leave'," Bakura suddenly said.

Marik did so.

"What about Ryou's old apartment?" Marik asked. "Does that still exist or did Aquailita destroy that when she gave you and Ryou separate bodies?"

Bakura thought about that for a moment. "Hm... I'm not sure, but put that down as an option for either of them leaving and both of them leaving."

Marik wrote down "Ryou's old apartment" on three stickies and put each of them under "Ryou leave", "Melvin leave", and "Both leave".

"We don't have anything for both of them staying," Marik said, pointing out the lone sticky.

"I know."

"Well if that's the case then Melvin would have to room with me or Ryou. You're not even an option because you'd object to that."

"I agree."

Marik wrote "Melvin in Marik's room" and "Melvin in Ryou's room" on two stickies and put them under "Both stay".

"So, since him and Slenderman are apparently best friends or something like that, could Melvin possibly just stay next door with him?"

Marik cringed. "Ugh..."

"If it's a possibility, we have to write it down just for the sake of writing it," Bakura reminded him.

Marik composed himself and nodded, then wrote down "Stay with Slender" on a sticky and put it under "Melvin leave".

"Or he could get his own apartment," Bakura said as an afterthought. "Assuming he'd even be able to handle it..."

Marik wrote that down and put it under "Melvin leave".

"Hold on," Marik said. "How would Ryou leaving only do anything?"

"It's just an option," Bakura said. "It doesn't really have to make sense."

In a great show of self control, Marik held back an abridged-related comment.

Bakura sensed this and nodded. "Good. Don't comment. Now..."

"I got one!" Marik exclaimed. "Melvin and Ryou—or rather, Melvin and you—could have their bodies taken away and we'd have to share again."

Bakura's eyes widened. "No wa—"

Marik grinned slyly at him. "It's an _option_~!" he said, mocking what Bakura had been constantly reminding him. "I'll write it down anyway." Before Bakura could protest, he wrote down "Share bodies again" on a sticky and put it under "Both stay".

Bakura bit his lip and held back his protests, because Marik was right. Not that he would admit that. Especially since they were only _acting_ non-abridged, and Marik would give him hell about it once they were back to acting abridged again.

Marik smirked at Bakura one last time before his face went serious again. "So is there anything else?" he asked.

"Well, if both of them stay, then we could _possibly_ all change rooms, with Ryou taking my room, Melvin taking your room, and the two of us sharing Ryou's room because it's so big."

Marik nodded and wrote "Trade rooms" on a sticky, then put it under "Both stay".

"Any other options?" Marik asked.

Bakura took a few moments to think. "I...don't think so," he said. He stood up and walked over to the drawer Marik had gotten the stickies and pen from and took a pencil out of it. "We should start narrowing the options down now."

"Okay." Marik put the pen down and held his now-empty hand out.

Bakura stared at the hand, then at Marik. "What?"

"Pencil."

"Why?"

"So I can cross stuff out!"

Bakura held the pencil closer to him. "I'm using it. You already wrote stuff. It's my turn."

Marik pouted, but nodded. "Fine."

Bakura looked at all of the stickies. "Damn, that's a lot. I know what I'm crossing out first..."

He moved his hand to write on one of the stickies, but Marik grabbed his wrist. "Hey wait! I thought you said we were going to _talk_ about them, not just start crossing stuff out right away."

"You just want to cross stuff out first," Bakura said, trying to free his wrist. But Marik was stronger than him, so it didn't work. "Let go."

"No. Hold up!"

"Let go first."

"Drop the pencil."

"Marik, you're being ridiculous."

"Me? You're the one who wants to cross stuff out right away when we're supposed to be _talking_ about it first."

"Oh yeah? And when have _you_ ever waited to do something until you discussed it with _me_?"

"It was _your_ idea to talk about each option before we made any decisions."

"Fine. I'm not going to. Just let go of my wrist."

"Just let go of the pencil."

"MARIK!"

"BAKURA!"

Their gazed locked and they shot daggers at each other with their narrowed eyes. No one made a single sound of movement, other for their breathing and blinking.

After about two minutes, they suddenly realized that their faces were really close to each other.

"You're just _dying_ to curse me out in British," Marik said in a low voice, "aren't you?"

"Yes. And you're just dying to say frig and other things to me," Bakura countered, his voice just as low, "aren't you?"

"Yeah."

They were silent for another minute.

Now their noses were touching.

"Wanna drop the whole 'non-abridged' stuff?" Marik asked.

"Gladly."

"Then let's drop it now."

"No."

"What?"

"Hold on."

Marik waited a few seconds.

Then Bakura said, "Okay, _now_ we drop it."

Then all hell broke loose. Well this is Yu-Gi-Oh we're talking about, so all...Shadow Realm?...broke loose? I don't even knows.

"YOU'RE BEING SO FRIGGIN RIDICULOUS AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IN THE NAME OF RA IS YOUR [EFF]ING PROBLEM BUT YOU'RE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING FOR NO FRIGGIN REASON AND ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A FRIGGIN BITCH!"  
"YOU'RE SO BLOODY IMMATURE SERIOUSLY WHAT IS YOUR BLOODY PROBLEM DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE YOUR WAY AND BE SO RA DAMN CHILDISH ALL THE TIME THIS IS TOTAL RUBBISH CAN'T YOU JUST CONTROL YOURSELF ONCE IN A BUGGERING WHILE?!"

Suddenly, it was totally quiet again.

Then a moment later, it wasn't.

Marik let go of Bakura's wrist and instead grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips out of nowhere.

Bakura's eyes widened and he went all tense, dropping the pencil in the progress.

The moment this happened, Marik ended the kiss and grabbed the pencil. He held it up triumphantly. "HA!" he cried. He quickly drew a big X on one of the stickies, the one that said "Stay with Slenderman" under "Melvin leave".

Bakura recovered from the shock of that random-ass kiss and snatched the pencil from the unsuspecting Marik.

"Hey!" Marik cried as Bakura quickly X-ed out "Share bodies again" from under "Both stay".

Marik slapped him, causing him to drop the pencil when he moved his hand to rub his stinging face.

Marik grabbed the pencil and crossed out "Ryou's old apartment" from under "Ryou leave".

Bakura clawed at Marik's hand, which made him drop the pencil and cry out in pain. Bakura snatched it up, then crossed out "Leave fanfic".

Marik recovered from the scratches Bakura had given him, grabbed a handful of the Brit's long hair, and tugged it back violently, tugging Bakura's head back as well. While Bakura was distracted by reaching back with one hand to free his hair, and snarling the entire time, Marik sneakily took the pencil out of Bakura's other hand. He crossed out "kill body" from under "Destroy Melvin".

This continued on for another few minutes until they had crossed off a bunch more stuff.

At last, the person who had the pencil—Marik, at that moment—decided to toss the pencil away. He person reaching for it—Bakura—quickly realized that it was no longer there, and gave up the assault.

Bakura let go of Marik and Marik let go of Bakura.

They stood up and faced each other, both of them breathing hard. They took a minute to let their breathing slow, then looked at the stickies.

Against all odds, all of the stickies will still in place. Almost all of them had X's through them, except for three: "Ryou's apartment" under "Both leave", "Ryou's room" under "Both stay", and "Stay with Slender" under "Melvin leave".

"Hey!" Marik cried. "Didn't I cross out 'Stay with Slender'?!"

"You did," Bakura admitted. "But I erased it and crossed out two."

"}:T"

"}:P"

"Bitch."

"Fuck you, too."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Let's just calm the bugger down and talk about these three choices."

"Fine."

They righted the chairs, which had been knocked over in the fight, then sat down in them and _tried_ to calm themselves down.

"That was fun," Marik said.

"I have to agree," Bakura said. "We haven't had a good fight like that in a while. Ever since..."

"Before Ryou came?"

"I was going to say 'a week before our lives were violated by my fangirl and my former host', but yes, the way you worded it does perfectly fine."

"Yaaaahhh. So let's get talking!"

They turned their attention to all of the sticky notes all over the table, specifically at the three that weren't crossed off.

"What was wrong with the stuff you crossed off?" Marik asked.

"Well, I don't want Aquailita to get involved. I'd rather Ryou have his room to himself. I do _not_ want to share a body with my host anymore, now that I have my own. No takebacks! And Ryou shouldn't have to leave. I want to keep an eye on him, anyway."

Marik folded his arms.

"And what was wrong with the stuff _you_ crossed off?" Bakura asked.

"Well, I don't really want Melvin on his own, and I don't think he would be able to handle it. Plus, someone needs to keep an eye on him. And even though I hate his guts, he's still my yami so I guess I feel obligated to give two frigs about him, and I don't want to see him leave or destroyed."

"Hm," Bakura said. "Okay. Slightly believable."

"Frig off, Bakura. Ryou would have said the same thing about you. Or something similar."

"Perhaps. But I would be able to come back whenever the bugger I felt like, regardless of where you people sent me or if you tried to destroy me, because destroying me would not even work anyway."

"Just don't question me."

"Fine. I won't."

"So out of the three options left, which one are we going to choose? They have equal appeal. But personally, I would like both of them to leave."

"I think the best option would be for both of them to stay and just share Ryou's room. That way we can keep an eye on both of them."

"Why did you cross out 'Switch rooms'?"

"Too much work," Bakura said. "Besides, Ryou has too much crap for it to all fit in where my room is, and Melvin is you so he just owns whatever crap you own. It'll be better for him to move in with Ryou."

"Yeah and how are we going to get a second bed in there without asking A—"

"Marik," Bakura interrupted, "we don need the authoress or fanfiction convenience to do everything for us. And if we can't steal one and assemble it in there, Melvin will just have to share Ryou's bed. It's full size, so it's big enough."

"Oh. Okay."

"And as for staying with Slenderman, I erased the X you put on that one because it would be perfect. We'd have Melvin out of our way, but within our reach in case something happens, and they'll keep each other busy."

Marik nodded reluctantly. "Yeah but then Melvin will just let him in here all of the time and it pisses me off!"

"Slendy might be a terrible neighbor and a pest, but he's an okay roommate. Especially if he's occupied with something, he won't be as annoying. Trust me. I would know."

"It's ironic how you don't remember most of it, when you're practically the master of memory wipes and memory lapses and you have a Millenium Item capable of erasing memories. Couldn't you just try to use the Millenium Ring to get your memories back from that time? I really _do_ want to hear some of your stories."

"I've tried that. And believe me, sometimes alcohol a memory eraser so powerful that not even ten Rings could overcome it. And while I may not remember everything I _did_, the songs playing at the clubs and parties we went to are still ringing in my head to this very day."

Marik put his elbows on the table and leaned his head on his hands. He leaned towards Bakura, fully interested. "Oooh. What songs?"

Bakura shook his head. "No. Enough talk about my college experience for today. We have more important matters at hand to talk about."

Marik lifted his head. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

"So like I was saying, not only are the two of them friends, but Slenderman would be the perfect roommate for him."

Marik again nodded reluctantly. "Fine. So which of the three options should we choose?"

"I'm not sure," Bakura said as he passed his eyes over the other stickies. "We've narrowed it down a lot. I think it might be best to just run these three options by them and see what _they_ want to do."

"Ugh. Do we have to?"

"Unfortunately. Because you and I would get _nowhere_ and just argue about it all day. And eventually we'd waste so much time that it would be too late to even discuss anything, and Melvin would have another day free to do whatever he wants until we finished making up our minds."

"Makes sense."

"Yes."

"Yeah."

"Surprisingly good talk. We even had a fun fight."

"Word, Kura."

"What was that for?"

"I like calling you 'Kura'."

"No, the 'word'."

"What word?"

"The word 'word'."

"What?"

Bakura just facepalmed. "Never mind."

"So are we ready?" Marik said as he stood up.

Bakura stood up. "Yes, we are ready."

* * *

**LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	17. The Fate Of The Roommates Pt 2

**OMG IM SOOOOOOO GLAD TO BE BACK ONLINE! it was torture!**

**jk I'm fine. This is going good, so I'll be keeping it up.**

**Another long chapter to tide you over for a week.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Marik and Bakura brought Ryou and Melvin out of Marik's room. The two of them were sitting on the couch, a whole couch cushion away from each other, while they thieves stood in front of them, side-by-side, arms folded, staring down on them.

Melvin was bored already.

Ryou was suffering from déjà vu.

"Do you know why we have called you here?" Marik asked evilly.

"N-no," Ryou said quietly.  
"Don't care," Melvin said loudly.

"Well, I will tell you why we have gathered you two here today! We are here to discuss the terms and conditions of your residency here, in this apartment, which Bakura and I have purchased fairly—after stealing about a year's worth of rent money from a local daycare—and have been living in for over a year, while you two have not."

As Marik was talking, Bakura's face took on that irritated and bored look it always had during Evil Council meetings.

"Both of us have reasons for not wanting either of you to be present here, but unfortunately there are also reasons that you _should_ be here, or at least should be _allowed_ to be here. My partner and I have thoroughly discussed all of these reasons and arguments, and we have come up with a list of resolutions that we must all decide on together, then agree on one plan of action."

"Marik," Bakura said boredly, "this isn't the bloody Evil Council. Just talk normally."

"Hey!" Marik cried defensively. "Shut up! This is a meeting. And when in meetings, I go into my Greatest-Head-Ever-Of-The-Greatest-Evil-Council-Ev er mode. So shut up, Kitty."

"Absolutely _NO one_ likes that 'mode'. It gets annoying. And don't treat this like a Council Meeting. AND I AM_ NOT_ A KITTY!"

"Shut up, Kitty. Yes you are."

"I am NOT!"

"Kitty!" Marik insisted. To prove his point, Marik reached for Bakura's hair and began petting his head gently and rhythmically, careful to avoid his bat wings.

Bakura cringed. "Leave my bloody hair al—" His eyes involuntarily slid closed and his head tilted to the side. He began purring noticeably. He blushed. "Marik! Stop it..." *_purr_* "...now before I..." *_purr_* "...detach your hand from your body and..." *_purr purr_* "...strangle you with your own..." *_purr purr puuuurrr_* "...intestines and hang your dead body out of my window by your..." *_purr purr mew purr_* "...hair!" Bakura snapped and grabbed Marik's hand, pulling it towards his mouth with the intent of biting it.

Marik freaked out and swung his free hand wildly at Bakura, while simultaneously trying to tug his hand out of Bakura's grasp.

Bakura turned his head so the impact of Marik's hand would be blocked blocked by his hair, and continued trying to bite Marik's hand.

This fight continued in a similar fashion for about another two or three minutes. Meanwhile, Melvin sat there with his eyes narrowed and an extremely bored and unamused expression on his face. Seeing Florence being reduced to a purring kitty by Marik had been amusing, but watching them fight like they were at that moment wasn't as amusing to him as it was to thiefshipping fangirls. Or anyone else for that matter. He didn't bother trying to break it up, and just let them fight.

He looked at Ryou, so he wouldn't be bored and would have something to look at. But he noticed that Ryou...

"Hey, I think Ryou fell asleep," Melvin suddenly said.

The thieves halted their fight and froze. At that moment, Marik's hood was over his eyes, held in place there by Bakura's teeth, Marik had one hand on Bakura's forehead and over his eyes, the other hand was holding one of Bakura's wrists, one of Bakura's hands was trying to pry Marik's hand off of his face, and Bakura's other hand was on Marik's stomach.

They turned to look at Ryou. (Bakura pulled Marik's hood up a bit so Marik could see again.)

Ryou's eyes were closed. He was leaning back and breathing softly.

The thieves stepped away from each other and stood up straight. "Hey!" Bakura shouted sharply, snapping his fingers in Ryou's face. "Former host! Wake up! No one gave you permission to sleep!"

Ryou slept on. His face was so adorable. Marik couldn't stop staring at it. He couldn't help it! Ryou was more adorable that Bakura!

Bakura tried repeating the message through their mind link. No such luck. It still didn't work.

Melvin moved over and leaned close to the Brit. "CREAMPUFF!" he shouted in Ryou's ear.

With a shout of surprise, Ryou instantly perked up and sat us straight, his eyes shooting open and his entire body going tense. "Uwagh! What?!"

He looked around, met the other three person's gazes, then looked shyly at the floor. "S-s-sorry," he said. "I was paying attention, though."

"Hm..." Bakura said. "You had better be paying attention. You don't speak now, you don't speak at all, meaning you don't get a say in what happens to both of you."

Ryou's eyes widened and he looked up. "Both?! You mean...Marik was being serious about a reason for..._me_ to leave as well?!"

Bakura folded his arms and nodded. "Yup."

"But that's not fair!"

"It is. So shut up and pay attention."

"Now!" Marik began.

"Do me a favor, Marik," Bakura said, "and stay out of your best-ever-evil-council-mode thing."

"Quiet, Fluffy."

"I'd attack you, but 'Fluffy' is not as bad as 'Kitty', so I'll let it slide..."

"Fine. Now...!"

"...for now."

"Stop interrupting, or you're not getting it tonight."

Bakura suddenly looked really worried. "No! I am! I'll shut up!" Bakura clamped his hand over his mouth.

Melvin snickered.

Bakura glared at him.

Melvin glared back.

Ryou looked at Melvin with confusion.

"Okay! Everyone shut the frig up and let me talk!" Marik shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Then talk already!" Melvin shouted.

"Omr fine!" Marik lowered his hands and cleared his throat. "Ahem. Now! Here are the two options for you two that Bakura and I have decided to let you choose from. Think about your decision carefully, because once you choose there is no going back or changing your mind."

Bakura's eyes widened briefly. He was about to comment to Marik that they had agreed to give them _three_ options, and ask what Marik was doing leaving one of them out, but he didn't know if Marik would take it to be interrupting and then not give him..._is_. He kept his mouth shut and just glared ineffectively at Marik.

"Here are the options: either both of you stay and share what is currently Ryou's room or both of you leave and move to Ryou's old apartment. Those are your only two choices. Pick one and we decide for you."

"What?!" Melvin and Ryou cried.

"That's what we've decided. Either both of you stay of both of you go."

"Pfft, fine," Melvin said. "We both go."

But at the same time, Ryou cried out, "We'll both stay!"

They exchanged glances. "Wait...what? Why?"

They said nothing, waiting for the other person to speak first.

Bakura looked at Marik. "We ran these options by them so that _we_ wouldn't argue about them all night, but it looks like _they_ are just as likely to argue about it as we are. This had better not take all day."

"What time even is it?" Marik asked, looking around the room for something showing the time.

"Around lunchtime," Bakura replied.

At that exact moment he said that, all three of them clearly heard Ryou's stomach rumble.

He hugged his stomach and looked up with a slightly embarrassed look on his face. "Lunch time? Already?" he asked. "Can we...?"

The thieves exchanged glances.

"Might as well," Bakura said. "I'm kinda hungry, too."

"Fine," Marik said. "We'll all think about this over lunch." He looked at Melvin and Ryou. "Do you want—"

"Order out," Ryou said, anticipating the question. "To give us more time to think."

"Seems reasonable enough," Bakura said. "Marik, order pizza. Because you know Ryou doesn't like tacos."

Melvin looked at Ryou incredulously. "What the frig is wrong with you?" he asked.

Ryou shrugged. "I'm just not a taco person."

Melvin rolled his eyes. "You're weird."

"So are you," Ryou shot back.

While Marik went to get the phone to order, Bakura went to retrieve the pencil from wherever Marik had thrown it and put it back in the drawer. (They had already cleaned up the sticky notes.) Then he took a chair from the kitchen and brought it over to the couch so he could sit on it and watch Melvin and Ryou and make sure they weren't doing anything.

"Who was the one who wanted both of us to leave?" Ryou asked.

"Marik," Bakura replied. "And I wanted both of you to stay."

Ryou smiled. "Really?"

"So I can keep an eye on you," Bakura continued. "And the psychopath. But specifically you. And you know why."

Ryou's smile faded and he nodded.

"You okay, by the way?" Bakura asked, examining Ryou and look him in the eyes.

Ryou nodded. "I'm fine. I got over it."

"Why the bloody hell did you name one of them?"

"I don't remember. It was a long time ago. The name just stuck with me."

"I didn't know you actually _cared_, Florence," Melvin said.

Bakura glared at him. "Sod off. He may be my host and I may abuse and torture him a lot, but it's only because I know he can handle it and recover. And also, I actually _do_ care about him, even if I don't show it. It's more than I can say about how you treat Marik."

Melvin began glaring back at him. "Hey. Shut up. I care about Marik as well. I just prefer to pretend like I don't. We're actually on semi-okay-ish terms nowadays. I actually help him in the museum once in a while. You don't know me. So shut up before you judge, Kitty."

Bakura stood up abruptly. "You're not allowed to call me that," he growled.

"Please don't start," Ryou said in a small voice. The two yamis turned to look at him. Ryou shrank back slightly under the weight of their stares. "S-sorry."

"Don't apologize," Bakura said to him. "He's just an instigator, that's all."

"And he just doesn't know when to quit," Melvin added.

"And you—" Bakura began.

"Both of you shut the frig up," Marik said as he walked back in to the scene. "Like Ryou said, don't start. I've had enough of yami-related issues. I don't need another one, especially not one involving _two_ yamis."

"I could agree more," Ryou said.

"Shut up, Creampuff, I wasn't talking to you."

Ryou scowled. "Just because your yami called me that doesn't mean that you automatically have a right to."

"Haven't you learned from Bakura that I only give nicknames to the few people I actually _care_ about in my life? Take a compliment, Creampuff, or you can just leave right now with or without Melvin."

"Was that a subtle threat of some sort?" Ryou asked.

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But it actually wasn't."

Ryou held up the Millenium Ring in one hand and aimed the palm of the other hand and Marik.

"Don't forget who has the Ring _and_ Limey Man powers."

Marik held up the Millenium Rod, then removed the bottom part of it and revealed its hidden blade. "And don't forget who has the Rod, or the fact that you're the only good guy here in a household filled with and owned by villains, not to mention the fact that all three of them are surrounding you right now."

"Leave us out of this," Bakura said.

"How is it that you two told us not to have a yami fight and you're having a hikari fight?" Melvin asked.

"Because shut up," Marik said, not tearing his gaze away from Ryou.

The two hikaris continued their stare-down of each other.

"I'm sensing some kind of conspiracy going on," Melvin said. "And Aquailita is probably responsible for it."

"By the way," Marik suddenly said, looking away from Ryou and at Melvin, "did you two turn off my computer?"

"We didn't," Melvin replied.

"Well go do it!" Marik ordered, pointing to the hallway. "I never gave you permission to go on it in the first place!"

"You do it!" Melvin cried.

"Let's go turn off the computer," Ryou said quickly as he stood up. "While we wait for the food to get here."

Melvin pouted, but decided to follow.

* * *

**I don't care that "cream puff" is two words, or if it's spelled "Millennium" and not "Millenium". I say "frig it:" and spell it however I want.  
However, I DO care that absolutely NO ONE across ANY of my Yu-Gi-Oh fanfics EVER pointed this out to me, and let me assume forEVER that "Millenium" was a word in Yu-Gi-Oh even if it wasn't spelled that way in the dictionary.  
}:T**

**It's okay. Perhaps YOU assumed this as well.**

**Anyway, you'll get another chapter next Saturday! The fact that I'm not allowed to WORK ON my fanfics during school days won't be an issue for this fanfic because I have about ten more chapters written out already. YAY!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	18. Lifeshipping

**The chapter title is symbolic. There is no "life" shipping for YGO.**

**This chapter might be hard on deathshippers. EMOTIONALLY, I mean. Or it might not be. I don't know.**

**The point is, brace yourselves. Stuff is about to get crazy!**

**How crazy?**

**Melvin crazy.**

**And by that, I mean insane.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"How loud are they?" Melvin suddenly asked.

Ryou was supposed to be turning off the computer, but he had stopped to look at a dent on the wall by the door. He turned his head to look at Melvin. "What was that?"

"How loud are they?" Melvin repeated.

"What do you mean?" Ryou asked as he turned around.

Melvin was on Marik's bed, looking bored. "Marik and Bakura. How loud are they when they do 'it'? Because if I'm going to be staying here I _really_ don't want to be kept up tonight."

Ryou blushed and averted his gaze. "Uh... W-well I'd really rather not tell you. I don't like talking about that. And..." his blush faded a bit and he looked at Melvin again. "And wouldn't you know? You are Marik's other half, after all?"

"I don't pay attention to certain parts of his life. I didn't even know he had an evil council until he asked me if I took over during one because Florence had some dream about it."

"Oh... And why would you assume that they are even...doing that tonight?"

"I just implied it from what Marik said to Florence earlier about not giving him 'it' if he didn't shut the frig up."

Ryou's face was confused for a moment. Then he laughed lightly. "Oh I think you misunderstood. He wasn't talking about sex. He was talking about allowing Bakura to have raw steak for breakfast, which he rarely does anymore. He only does it on special occasions, and I assume he's going to let Bakura have it tomorrow morning."

"Oh how lovely," Melvin said sarcastically. "I get to watch Florence tear violently into a bloody part of an uncooked dead animal. How exciting."

Ryou sighed. "Melvin, are you bored or something?" he asked as he went back to examining the wall.

"Yes," Melvin automatically replied. "And what are you even looking at?"

"There's a dent here on the wall," Ryou told him. "I can't figure out why it's here or what made it. It doesn't look like anyone punched the wall... The wall isn't even cracked or broken, just dented. Odd..."

"Yeah, I bet it's _really_ exciting," Melvin said with a roll of his eyes.

"This was here before I got here, so I assume that it happened in the first story of the trilogy."

"Ah huh," Melvin said boredom. "Is the wall really more interesting than me?"

Ryou turned around again. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were trying to get my attention. I just haven't noticed this before."

"Lovely." Melvin's face had been neutral with boredom the entire time. But now it changed to a thoughtful grin. "Hm...I wonder how loud _you_ would be," he said thoughtfully.

Ryou blinked in confusion. "What?"

"You heard me. And I wonder if you'd be a talker like Bakura or a moaner like Marik."

Ryou blushed furiously. "Wh-... Why are you even talking about that?"

Melvin's grin transformed into a smirk. "I guess we'll find out eventually, won't we?"

Ryou suddenly stopped blushing and his eyes widened.

_Oh no..._ Ryou thought. _He's thinking about _that_ sort of thing already. Why so soon_? He cringed. _I think it's time to end this before it goes to far and before someone gets hurt. Emotionally _or_ physically..._

"M-Melvin..." Ryou stuttered.

Melvin looked up, his gaze having briefly moved to the dent on the wall Ryou had been looking at. After examining Ryou's face, he became confused at the mix of emotions on it. Guilt. Nervousness. Shame. More guilt. Melvin frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked the British hikari.

Ryou wouldn't meet his gaze. He stared at the floor the entire time and kept scratching the back of his neck. "I have something to...ask...uh... No wait, tell... Uh... Well uh... I have to talk to you about something..."

"What? Tell me already."

Ryou cringed and looked _really_ uncomfortable. "I... I..." he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Y-y-y-you _do_ know that I n-n-never actually...s-s-s-_said_ that I...L-L-_Like_ you like that...r-r-right?"

Ryou opened an eye.

Melvin was still regarding him with total confusion. "Yes," he replied simply. "You never _did_ admit it. I've been waiting for you to. Patiently."

"Yeah um...about that... I'm not going to."

Melvin's eyes widened. "What?" he asked in an even tone.

"I'm not gay."

And Melvin's face was all like: B/ and he asked, "It's a little late to say that, isn't it?"

And so Ryou's face went all: ( -_-') and he mumbled, "I-I know..." Ryou felt a little bit better now that he had gotten it out. But there was still more to tell...

Melvin folded his arms and narrowed his eyes. "Like..._really_ late. We're like frigging 18 chapters in and you just _now_ admit this?"

"Hey! I shouldn't have to!" Ryou cried in a slightly offended tone. "We already established long ago that I am _not_ gay! Everyone knows it! I said it in the previous fanfic! How can you accuse me of not admitting it because I admitted it so many times in the past! Even on the show! How many times have I said 'I'm not gay, I'm just British'?!"

"Well guess what!" Melvin shouted. The next thing Ryou knew, he was lying down on the bed from the waist up, his hands were pinned above his head by his wrists, and Melvin was leaning over him with a hurt and upset look in his eyes, but an angry look on his face. "I wasn't here for that!" he continued, his volume making Ryou cringe. "I was _never_ here when you said that! Even on the show! What does that mean, then?! Have you been leading me on this whole entire time?!"

Ryou's lip trembled. "N-n-no! I s-s-swear..."

"Well then what the hell have you been doing and saying for the past couple of hours? With me!" The hurt in his eyes transformed into more anger.

Ryou had a feeling that things were taking a dangerous turn for him. He had to talk his way out if it before Melvin retaliated...physically. "I w-w-wasn't..._really_ leading you on! I was being honest th-th-the whole time."

"When you hid behind me?" Melvin challenged.

"I was simply hiding from Bakura. And you were willing to hide me...so..."

"That moan. Don't think I forgot that."

"Purely physical," Ryou said with a straight face. "I wasn't so sure at that moment, but now I know it's the truth."

"You defended me and begged for them to let me stay."

"I didn't think it was right for them to turn you away. They didn't want me here either, but they accepted me anyway. That felt good. Even though I wasn't wanted, they let me stay. Sure, Aqua had to convince them, but I wanted the same to happen for you. Even though Marik loathes you and Bakura despises you... Or is it the other way around?"

"It flip-flops."

"Oh. But anyway, I wanted you to stay...just because. You might be on the bad side, but at least you're still one of those people who defends the ones you care about, no matter what side they're on. I like that. I consider you a good...uh...friend."

"Oh, so now I'm being friend zoned, am I?" Melvin asked as he stood up.

Ryou stood up as well and turned his back to the wall. "N-no that's not how it—"

"Well, since there isn't going to be the _shipping_ part of it, I suppose we can just make the _death_ part of it happen."

Ryou gasped and his eyes widened. "Wh-wha...t?"

All of a sudden, Melvin stood up and took a step towards Ryou. He pushed the Brit backwards, hard, knocking him into the wall next to the door.

"OW!" Ryou cried out. He rubbed his back where it had hit the wall. "Bloody hell... Melvin...what was that..." His knees went weak and bent a little.

Melvin ran up to him and held his arm over Ryou's neck. He made Ryou stand up straight by pulling him up by his chin. He held his free arm out behind him.

The Millenium Rod flew from its spot on Marik's dresser straight into Melvin's hand. Keeping Ryou in place with his arm, Melvin removed the bottom half of the Rod, revealing the blade underneath.

Ryou yelped in terror. _This escalated fairly bloody quickly..._ he thought with an internal laugh, so as to not lose his mind so quickly. Which is probably what had just happened to Melvin. Then again, he was already insane...

_I should have seen this coming. Then again, I sort of did._

With the same hand that held the Millenium Rod, Melvin removed the Millenium Ring from around Ryou's neck. He let both the Ring and the bottom half of the Rod drop to the floor. The Millenium Ring bounced on the carpet and landed right next to the door. The bottom half of the Millenium Rod rolled away, and stopped at one of the legs of Marik's bed.

"What are you—" Ryou began. He stopped short when Melvin removed his arm and held the blade of the Rod up to his neck without letting the metal touch his skin. Ryou could still feel the coldness of it, though. His eyes and pupils widened.

"M..." Ryou tried to say. "Why?"

"You know why it's called _death_shipping, right?" Melvin asked. His voice was cold and emotionless. His eyes were just as cold, but not as emotionless. However, Ryou couldn't quite tell what emotion they were holding.

Ryou gulped and nodded as much as he could.

"Well, I totally could have murdered you by now. But I didn't. Why? Because I actually cared. And why would an evil cold-hearted psychopathic imaginary friend actually care about someone in such a way? Because I thought I could have fun making you like me back, and continue to like me. Heh. I guess I was wrong. It turns out that you were just toying with me the whole time. Interesting. You learned how to lie from Bakura, but you always knew how to roleplay."

Melvin moved the arm that held the Rod and held his arm up against Ryou's neck. With that same hand, he held the Rod and pointed it at Ryou's chest. He loosened his grip on it slightly. He put his other hand on the head of the Rod. If you picture it right, you know exactly what Melvin has set up here. Ready to ram the Rod into Ryou's chest at any time.

"And it's a shame. That role player side of you could have been fun to play with, if you know what I mean."

Ryou was terrified to the point of being unable to think coherently or even cry for help.

There was only one action he was capable of in the state he was in.

As his emergency defense mechanism, he went into his special Ryou Bakura emergency mercy mode: his mega-super-special-bloody-smashing-brilliant-shini ng-ace-creampuff-powered-awesome-kawaii-desu-ne-üb er-mega-kawaii-cute mode.

His mouth opened in a small o, his pupils went wide and began sparkling, his eyes lost their helpless and terrified look gained an innocent and pleading one and turned the prettiest shade of chocolate-brown possible in existence, his hair became ten times fluffier and twenty times softer than his yami's hair was, he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly that it was barely noticeable, and he began blinking in rapid and rhythmic intervals. He locked gazes with Melvin.

The yami felt himself unable to look away. He was caught in the inescapable black-hole-like trap that was the face of Ryou Bakura. It was, in a single word, adorable. If you wanted to add another word, you could say it was mesmerizing. If you still needed more adjectives to describe it, here's another one:

irresistible

It seemed like time had stopped, with Melvin frozen in place as his mind went crazy(er than usual) trying to come up with an idea of how to react of even if he should react at all, and Ryou completely motionless as his will battled with his fear so he could keep up his too-cute-to-kill face in order to save his life and buy him maybe a few more minutes of existence.

And what do you know?

It _did_ save his life!

A moment later, the door slammed open and Marik and Bakura burst in.

* * *

**I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been purposefully avoiding Ryou's POV ever since the end of chapter 10. The idea was that you don't know how Ryou TRULY felt about Melvin or deathshipping from then until now. Basically, deathshipping was NEVER two-sided in this fanfic.**

**SORRY TO DISAPPOINT, DEATHSHIPPPERS, **

**But it gets better. Trust me. Things get better.**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	19. Ryou Rescue Mission 1: CodeName THIEF

**So what if "millennium" actually has 2 N's? I don't care. I'm too used to writing it with 1 n. I'm not going to change in the middle of a fanfic. Maybe in future fanfics, I'll start spelling it the right way.**

**Oh, also...**

**Breaking news! ****60 REVIEWS! OVER 1400 VIEWS! Awesome! ****Thanks everyone! Reviews totally make it worth the 5-day wait to come back online. And faves and follows totally cheer me up when I get email notifications.  
Sometimes, I feel like the PewDiePie of fanfiction, in the relationship I have with you guys and how appreciative I am of you all and your support. (not in terms of popularity, cuz i still have a _LONG_ way to go to even come CLOSE to his level of reputation and popularity)**

**So this chapter is a bit more edited than I can usually manage, because I actually edited it on my iPod earlier today, which I rarely get the chance to do nowadays because of the whole school plan thing. But anyway, I got to edit it a little bit more than I usually do. That's good.**

**Thiefshipping in this chapter. And by thiefshipping, I mean Marik and Bakura have a lengthy argument. lolz shud b fun.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

Melvin suddenly let Ryou go and turned to them. Unprepared for this, Ryou hadn't bothered to support himself with his legs, because Melvin's arm was keeping him up the entire time. So he fell to the floor and almost hit his head against the wall. He left his cute mode and his face and hair returned to normal.

The thieves only took a second to examine the scene and evaluate the situation, then sprang into action.

Marik pushed Melvin away from Ryou and stood protectively in front of the other hikari. Once Melvin was a good distance away, Bakura activated the Millenium Ring and yellow squiggly lines covered Melvin's body, holding him in place and keeping him from moving.

"I should have known this wouldn't last," Bakura said. "I should have realized that you would be more trouble for us than it first seemed like you would be. We should have just kicked both of you out."

"Oh _now_ you change your mind?!" Marik said in annoyance. "I _told_ you something like this would happen!"

"Marik, now is not the time to argue about that."

"How did you get the Ring?!" Melvin asked.

"I noticed that it was right under the door," Bakura replied with a snarl. "Slid right under. Easy. What happened in here? What were you doing?!"

By this point, Ryou had recovered from his fall and was standing up. "He tried to kill me!"

"Why?" Marik asked.

"I don't bloody know! He's _your_ psychopathic yami!"

"So?" Marik asked. He took one step away from Ryou and picked up the Millenium Rod.

"You _are_ bonded to him," Bakura said. "And he _is_ you. Shouldn't you know?"

"Why should I?" Marik asked. "Just because we're mentally and spiritually connected doesn't mean that I know _everything _about him or everything he's thinking."

"Well you _asked_," Bakura countered. "Couldn't you just find out yourself?"

"Maybe_ you_ can find out yourself from Ryou!" Marik shouted as he took a few steps towards Bakura. "Why didn't you do that? Come to think of it, why didn't he just ask you for help?"

"Who bloody knows?" Bakura said, carelessly and accidentally freeing Melvin from the Ring's hold on him. "He doesn't think straight in moments of panic. But that's not the point."

"What _is_ the point? That I should automatically know what's going on in Melvin's head?"

"I didn't say that. But you should know _some_ of what's going on. Since he's apparently going to be living with us, you should have been keeping an eye on him through your mind link. In fact, had you been paying attention, perhaps this wouldn't even have happened!"

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!" Marik shouted. He held up a finger, put a hand on his hip, and turned to Bakura. "Hold up a second! You're saying that this is my fault?!"

"No," Bakura replied as he turned to Marik. "I'm saying that you should keep a better watch on your yami."

"Why should I? I don't_ have _to!"

"Actually, you do. You're pretty much obligated to because you're his hikari."

"And why is that?!"

"Just because! And also because he's _your _yami and_ you_ should know how to deal with him. And especially because—"

"No no no!" Marik interrupted, taking a few steps closer to Bakura. "Just because he's part of me doesn't mean I have to watch him at all times! And how am I even supposed to do anything about him, anyway? I don't really have any control over him! You were there with me in Battle City! You saw how powerless I was to do a frigging thing against him."

"I KNOW!" Bakura shouted. "But control doesn't matter. Just because you can't control him doesn't mean that you can't take responsibility for him."

"WHAT! What's the point if I can't do anything about anything he does!"

"Being powerless or not is irrelevant," Bakura interrupted. "I mean, Ryou has absolutely _zero_ power over me _EVER_, and yet he still used to take the blame—I mean the _responsibility_—for what I did. Sure, it destroyed his reputation, but he still managed it. And there's no reason why you can't do the same."

Marik's jaw dropped. "That's totally unfair! I shouldn't have to! It's not my fault he's here or that he did whatever the frig he did to your hikari!"

"I never said—"

"Why are you trying to blame me—yet again!—for something I didn't do?!"

"Hold on a moment, Marik!" Bakura suddenly cried. "What do you mean by 'again'?"

"You're always blaming me for _everything_. In your eyes, if I'm involved at all, it's automatically my fault!"

"No! I don't 'blame you for everything'! When do I _ever _do that?"

"All the friggin time! And it's always when it's not actually my fault!"

"I do _not _blame you for things you didn't do! I don't always blame you for things, but when I do it _is_ your fault!"

"Lies you tell!" Marik objected. "It's never my fault!"

"Now _that's_ a lie!"

"Is not!"

"Is too! Whenever your evil plans go awry, it's always because of something _you_ did, whether it's your poor planning or terrible execution or because you try to do things on your own when you need my help! So when I blame you, it _is_ your fault! And you shouldn't be complaining about _me_ falsely accusing you, when _you_ always blame _me_ for your mistakes."

"I do _not_ do that!"

"You do. All the bloody time. Whenever you don't want to take the blame, you're like 'OMR Bakura this is all your friggin fault I hate you WAH!'."

"That is _not_ what I say."

Bakura smirked. "Best bloody impression I've ever done of you."

"_Worst_ impression of ANYTHING _EVER_! I don't say that!"

"Well you say stuff _like_ that! Whenever something goes wrong, you either run to hide behind me or run to me to blame me! That's how you always are with me!"

"I am not! I do_ not_ blame you for random stuff and I certainly do _not_ run to hide behind you! Although I may be the girliest one on this show, I _am_ a man! I can take care of myself."

"Apparently not, because _I_ am the one who always has to bail _you _out when things go awry! It gets bloody annoying after a few hundred times!"

"Oh come now, Kura! It doesn't happen _that_ often! Only like once or twice! Or three times, but that's it!"

"I beg to differ. It happened about seven times in the past month!"

"What?! Seven?! I don't remember that many!"

"Well it happened! Don't try to deny it! That happens a lot. You really can barely handle yourself. Now I feel bad about having to yell at you for not being able to handle your literal other half."

At the mention of Melvin, the thieves automatically glanced at him.

But he wasn't there.

"WHERE THE [BLANK] HELL DID HE GO?!" they both cried. Bakura's blank is to be filled with "BLOODY" and Marik's blank is to be filled in with "FRIGGING".

They looked around the room, but Melvin was nowhere in sight.

"Ryou!" Bakura shouted, turning to his hikari, "where did he..."

But Ryou wasn't there, either.

The thieves' eyes widened.

"Oh no..." Bakura murmured.

"Where did they go?" Marik asked.

"I don't—" Bakura began.

"Oh wait I know!" Marik interrupted. "They're in Ryou's room again."

Bakura smiled. "You found that out through your mind link, right?"

"Of course! But who frigging cares! Let's just go already!"

Marik raced out of the room and down the hall.

Bakura followed close behind.

* * *

**Lolz thiefshipping arguments. These arguments are probably the highlights of the fanfic, as far as thiefshipping is concerned.**

**OH NO! Not again! Time to go save Ryou from Melvin again!**

**Or...is it?**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	20. Ryou Rescue Mission 2: CodeName FRIENDS

**So let's try this again. Ryou and Melvin are in a room together, and Marik and Bakura are going to rescue Ryou from Melvin.**

**But...does he really need rescuing?**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

_~Several minutes earlier~_

"What _is _the point? That I should automatically know what's going on in Melvin's head?"

"I didn't say that. But you should know _some_ of what's going on. Since he's apparently going to be living with us, you should have been keeping an eye on him through your mind link. In fact, had you been paying attention, perhaps this wouldn't even have happened!"

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! Hold up a second! You're saying that this is my fault?!"

"No. I'm saying that you should keep a better watch on your yami."

Ryou knew what was happening. They had started arguing. Again. He knew that they would be at it for more than five minutes, maybe even ten, before they actually remembered what they had been doing before they had started arguing. And he didn't really want to wait around that long.

"Are they seriously arguing again?"

Ryou looked over at Melvin, who had a bored and unamused expression on his face.

Ryou nodded slowly. "They are. And they're going to be doing so for another ten minutes, most likely."

Melvin's eyes widened. "WHAT?! Ain't nobody got time for that!"

"Apparently _they_ do."

"Well I don't." Melvin looked at Ryou. "Hey. Sorry for trying to kill you. How about we go to your room and wait for them to stop arguing?"

Ryou didn't really want to be alone with Melvin again. But since Marik and Bakura were completely absorbed in their argument, he might as well already be. And since Melvin seemed like he was calm and controlled, Ryou figured that he would be fine. He shrugged. "I guess so. Let's go."

Ryou walked out the door.

Melvin followed, but not before sneakily stealing the Millenium Rod from Marik's hand.

* * *

Melvin was on Ryou's bed, lying down with his head on one of Ryou's pillows. He was watching Ryou messing with his Skylanders figures.

"What are those from?" Melvin asked.

"A game that doesn't involve blood, murdering people, or being evil, so don't even think about touching them."

"Okay okay I get it. Calm down."

"I'm pretty sure you know why it's difficult to do that," Ryou said with a side glance at Melvin.

Melvin caught this. "Like I said," he said with a sigh. "I'm sorry for that. And since I don't want your yami or my hikari bitching about it and arguing like they are now about it, I'll just leave you alone and not try to kill you again. But you should have seen that coming. After all, I _am_ insane."

Ryou cringed. "I know." He looked at Melvin apologetically. "And I'm sorry for unintentionally leading you on."

"Yeah. About that. I'm over it. I'm over you. You're no fun anymore."

"Does that mean we still can't be friends?"

Melvin shrugged. "Maybe we can. I'm not the 'friendly' type."

"Oh. Well you can be if you want."

"Yeah okay."

Ryou suddenly walked over to Melvin. He held out his hand. "I'll forgive you and be your friend, if you stop trying to hurt me. And I'll make sure you can stay here, even if they won't want you here anymore after this. Deal?"

Melvin eyed the hand uncertainly. Then he sat up and grabbed the hand. "Deal."

They shook on it.

Then for no reason, Melvin let go of Ryou's hand and started petting Ryou's hair.

Ryou froze. "What the bloody—"

"Your hair is soft. I like it."

Ryou decided to not do anything about it.

Melvin was stroking back and forth near the front of his head. Then...

Ryou suddenly gasped. Then he cringed and groaned. He grabbed Melvin's wrist and moved his hand away from his hair. "Stop that!"

A confused look came on Melvin's face. "Why?"

Ryou let go of him.

The door suddenly burst open, and Marik and Bakura ran in. It gave Ryou slight déjà vu at how many times Bakura burst into a room he was in that day.

"What's going on in here?!" Bakura asked. He was wearing the Millenium Ring.

"Melvin agreed to not hurt me anymore and we're friends now."

Marik's head tilted in confusion. "Wait, what?"

"Hm," Bakura said. "With the way this fanfic has been going, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Melvin asked.

"I think that's the problem," Bakura said. "We're leaving you alone. With Ryou."

"That doesn't count as 'alone'," Ryou pointed out.

"Shut up, former host," Bakura said.

"Oh no!" Ryou exclaimed with an annoyed look on his face. "You'd better not make a habit out of saying that to me! It would be like 'Shut up, Mokuba', only meaner."

"Shut up, former host."

"And so it has already begun," Ryou murmured as he facepalmed.

"You two didn't turn off the computer, by the way," Marik said. "Go do it."

"Sorry about that," Ryou said." He left his room and started walking to Marik's room.

Melvin decided that he wanted to follow.

"Melvin is going to be following Ryou around for a while, isn't he?" Bakura asked Marik.

Marik nodded and watched them walk away. "Unfortunately. He doesn't really have anything better to do. He doesn't like being bored. He may not be sociable, like me, but he's okay it he has someone to watch."

Bakura just shook his head. "You _both_ are weird."

"Shut up, Fluffy." He randomly gave Bakura a kiss in the cheek, then started walking down and out of the hallway. "Be back soon."

"I bloody hope so..." Bakura murmured as he walked to his room.

* * *

**WILL MARIK'S COMPUTER EVER BE TURNED OFF?!  
****Probably not. I have yet to write a chapter in which the computer is turned off. And I have like the next five or six chapters written out already.****  
**

**lolz**

**Wait a moment...have you noticed a pattern? Ryou and Melvin are in a room together... **

**I think we all know what's gonna happen next chapter...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	21. Ryou Rescue Mission 3: CodeName ZEXAL

**Omg...mini heart attack! While in the car this morning! I DELETED THE NOTE FROM MY IPOD BY ACCIDENT THAT CONTAINS THIS FANFIC!  
That WOULD have been the end of the world for me and the end of the fanfic, but luckily my iPod Notes are connected to my Gmail and I was able to recover the Note and put it back on my iPod.  
****If I had done that while this story was still on my old iPod, I wouldn't have been able to recover it from Gmail.****  
**

**The moral of this story is to be thankful for the forces in the universe watching over each and every...**

**lolz just kidding. The moral of this story is HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER! NOW READ IT!****  
**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"SOMEONE HELP!"

Bakura was in the living room, waiting for the pizza to arrive or Marik to return (whichever came first).

And he'd had enough. He was tired of Ryou bothering him through the mind link. And now Ryou had decided to shout out loud.

Bakura burst into Marik's room. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" he asked irritatedly.

He found Ryou tied to a chair, facing Marik's computer. He was watching a video on YouTube. Melvin stood behind him.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Bakura asked calmly.

"He's forcing me to watch the worst episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh ZeXAL!" Ryou cried. "Save me!"

Marik burst into the room. "Did someone say ZeXaL?" he asked upon entering.

Bakura turned to him and said, "Oh. Good, you're back. Do something! Your yami is torturing my hikari by forcing him to watch the crappiest episodes of the worst spin off of anything that ever existed in this terrible excuse for a dimension."

Marik walked over to Ryou and stood behind him next to Melvin.

"Well?" Bakura said expectantly.

"No. It's fine," Marik said. "I like ZeXaL. This right here is one of my favorite episodes."

Bakura's jaw dropped. Then, so did his head. Then, so did he. To the floor. On his knees.

He hugged himself tightly and cried, "Why has my Karma come back to torture me! How can it be that my boyfriend and his psychotic yami _both_ like Yu-Gi-Oh! ZeXaL?! The apocalypse isn't due for another half season or two!"

"Calm the frig down, Florence," Melvin said. "I don't actually like ZeXaL."

Bakura lifted his head and gave him a confused look. "Then why in the name of Ra are you torturing Ryou with it?!"

"Puh-lease, Florence," Melvin said with an eye roll. "Just because someone likes using something as torture doesn't mean that they necessarily like using it on themselves."

Bakura stopped hugging himself and raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Doesn't it?"

"Well you're an exception. You're a masochist. Especially when sharp objects are involved."

Bakura's eyes widened briefly. "Who told you that?!" he asked harshly. "And they were lying."

"I don't think Marik's a liar," Melvin said, smirking at his hikari who was now glaring back. "Don't forget that until about a week ago I had access to _everything_ in Marik's mind. I still do, but it's not as easy."

"Frig off," Marik said.

"Don't say stuff like that in front of Ryou!" Bakura scolded Melvin. "We've had problems with him regarding this type of stuff before, and I'd rather there not be a repeat of the incident."

Melvin grinned evilly in Ryou's direction. "Oh, is that so? So that kind of talk makes him uncomfortable, does it? Well then perhaps Ryou would like to hear about that one time two months ago when you asked Marik to—"

Ryou shifted uncomfortably as much as he possibly could, and cried out. "NO PLEASE DON'T TELL ME I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" He hated that he couldn't cover his ears. At least he had been able to close his eyes from seeing the episodes, but he couldn't cover his ears to block out any sounds.

"MALIK ISHTAR!" Bakura shouted at the top of his lungs. He was standing up now. "Stop torturing my former host! Not only is that my job, but he's had enough for one week! You're doing it all wrong and I don't appreciate you purposefully trying to irreversibly scar him for life!"

Melvin held up the Millenium Rod, which had been in his hand the entire time. "Well by all means, Florence," he said tauntingly, "feel free to try to stop me."

Bakura took off the Millenium Ring and held it in his hand, then just stood there and growled at Melvin. But he didn't move towards him or Ryou.

"Ha!" Melvin said in satisfaction. "I know you don't have the balls to come at me."

"I have more balls than you."

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you?"

Ryou groaned. "Please stop?" he asked.

"No," Melvin replied without looking at him.

"Just let him go," Marik said, still watching the episode, which was almost over.

Melvin pouted.

Still watching, Marik suddenly grabbed the Millenium Rod from Melvin, slashed the ropes holding Ryou with it, then handed the Rod back to Melvin. Melvin backed up in surprise at Marik's speed.

Once the ropes were slashed, Ryou shrugged them off and shot out of the chair and ran over to Bakura. He hid behind the spirit and hugged him tightly.

Bakura turned his head and looked over his shoulder at Ryou. "Are you okay?"

Ryou frowned and nodded.

"Good. Now stop touching me."

Ryou obeyed and immediately let go of him and moved several steps away. Somehow, without realizing it, he ended up walking closer to Melvin.

Melvin took a step in Ryou's direction. Marik turned around just in time to see him take that step, and he took two steps in Melvin's direction. Out of the corner of his eye, Ryou saw Marik move and noticed that Melvin was a bit closer now, so he automatically took a few steps in Bakura's direction. Bakura was about to take a step towards Melvin and Marik as well, but he stopped after a step or two.

The fact that everyone was moving at the same time seemed a bit awkward-ish and coincidental-ish, so everyone stopped I their track and froze. The exchanged glances with each other, waiting for someone else to make a move or sound.

Everyone remained frozen and silent for about a minute before someone finally moved and spoke.

"THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!" Bakura shouted at the top of his lungs.

Everyone's eyes locked on him.

He locked eyes with Marik.

"Ryou, catch!" he shouted sharply. He took off the Millenium Ring and tossed it to him. Too shocked to be his usual clutzy self, Ryou caught it easily with one hand. "Melvin, give your hikari your Item." Without hesitation, Melvin tossed the Millenium Rod to Marik, who caught it easily.

"Marik, this is not working out," Bakura said.

"Wh..." Marik began.

"This whole thing! Melvin can _not_ stay here with us. He seems hell-bent on causing trouble in everything he does."

"Wait...so what are you..."

Again, Bakura didn't let him finish. "We should have given them the third option."

"Third option?" Ryou asked.

"The one you tried to cross out but I erased the X you wrote on it," Bakura continued, still addressing Marik. "And then you didn't bring it up when we gave them the options."

"There was a third option but you didn't tell us?!" Melvin exclaimed.

"It seems so," Ryou said. "What was this third option?"

Marik just stayed silent and held Bakura's gaze.

"For Melvin to move in with Slenderman instead of us," Bakura replied.

Melvin's eyes widened. "WHAT?! ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDING ME! If that was an option, why didn't you say so?! That would have been a perfectly good idea. I would be fine with that! And it would get me away from you people!"

"Marik is paranoid that it'll make him bother us more and give him more access to our apartment. He has a bad habit of coming in when Marik's trying to make 'Let's Play' videos."

"I remember that," Melvin said. "But that doesn't mean he'll do it often. He's a good roommate. He only bothers people when he's bored and/or broke."

"I know that," Bakura said. "Marik doesn't believe me."

The two of them were still staring at each other, and hadn't looked away at all yet.

The intensity of their gazes was staring to make everyone in the room feel tense.

Marik couldn't help but think, _I think there's more sexual tension between Bakura and I right now than there was between England and France in the whole entire Paint It White movie._

Ryou could sense it as well, but unlike Marik he didn't make a connection to Hetalia. "I'm leaving," he said. "I can't take this tension anymore! I'll be in my room."

He walked towards the door. But before he could walk out, his yami grabbed his arm. "Oh no you don't!" Bakura shouted.

"But—" Ryou tried to say

Bakura interrupted. "No one leaves until we all agree to have Melvin move in with Slenderman!"

"I'm fine with that," Ryou said, trying to free his arm from Bakura's grasp. Of course, he made zero progress.

"Marik, you are the only one who isn't on board with this," Bakura said.

Marik was still silent.

"Well?" Bakura asked expectantly.

Marik said nothing.

**"OMFBR MARIK WHAT ARE YOU EVEN WAITING FOR?!"**

"Waiting for you to end the chapter so we have an awesome cliffhanger," Marik said.

**"NO! I'm not ending the chapter till you make a decision!"**

"Make me! Uh wait no I take it back."

**"Fine. We're not ending the chapter until you accept."**

And so, Melvin, Bakura, and Ryou stood in the room staring at Marik, while I sit here and stare at Marik from the Author's seat, and while a bajillion fangirls and about a dozen or so readers stare at him from behind their screens.

Marik finally breaks eye contact with Bakura and looks all around everywhere.

Finally, he closed his eyes and frowned and shouted, "OH EM FRIGGIN GEE! Everyone, stop staring at me! You're making me nervous and I feel pressured!"

The stares continued.

"Fine! Melvin can stay with Slender! Just ignore me!"

"FINALLY!" Melvin, Ryou, and Bakura shouted.

**"FINALLY!"** I say.

"FINALLY!" the fangirls and readers all cry.

**And now we can end the chapter.**

* * *

**Guess what happens in the next chapter!**

**PIZZA AND FILLER!**

**"Pizza" meaning pizza.  
And "filler" meaning a drama-free chapter. RARITY SO FAR!**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


	22. Pizza Break Chapter!

**YAY FILLER CHAPTER!**

**Actually it's not. I don't waste chapters. Sure, it's a drama-free chapter. But that doesn't mean important stuff won't happen in it ;)**

**What do I mean? **

**You know how to find out. Read.**

_I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Hetalia, the fanfiction site, Bakura's __hair, the British language, Slenderman (the game or the abridged version), or any of the character/__trademarks in those._

**R&R**

**ENJOY~!**

* * *

"So," Marik said, "now that that's over with, I think you would like to know that the food came."

"WHEN?!" Ryou automatically asked.

"The guy was waiting outside for like ever, ringing the doorbell. I had to let him in."

"This whole bloody _fanfic_ is getting out of hand," Bakura said. "Before anything else happens, let's eat. We need a break from plot."

Everyone else nodded in agreement and left the room. They headed for the kitchen, where the pizza box was waiting.

Ryou ran over to it and opened it, then took a slice and immediately started eating.

Bakura rolled his eyes. "I _still_ have no clue where that appetite came from. Certainly not from me."

Ryou replied, but no one could understand what he was saying because his mouth was full.

"What?" Bakura asked.

Ryou swallowed. "I said, it came from the fact that you often refused to feed me when my body was hungry."

"That's a lie," Marik said as he got four paper plates and put them on the table. "Bakura used to eat so much. Still does. I've always been intrigued by the fact that he's still so frigging skinny even though he eats so much."

"That's true," Bakura said as he took two slices of pizza—one in each hand—and sat down at the table and started eating. He took a bite of one, a bite of the other, swallowed, then continued talking. "I'm pretty sure it's you, not me."

Ryou also sat down, taking a plate and setting his slice down on it. "I assume it IS your fault, since I've never had this appetite before you started interfering in my life."

"I've been in your life for years. Don't blame it on me."

"Well if that's the case," Ryou said, pausing to take another bite and swallow, "then I developed this appetite when you were in my life. Meaning it totally _could_ be your fault."

"We have different diets and food preferences and eating habits," Bakura pointed out. "That wouldn't make sense." By this time, he had taken three more bites from either slice of pizza he was holding. He leaned forward and put his elbows on the table.

Marik sat down next to him, across from Ryou. He glared at Bakura a bit. "Kura, use a friggin plate. You're getting crumbs all over the table." He took a plate and a slice of pizza and also began eating.

Melvin sat down next to Marik on the same side as him. He, too, took a plate and slice and started eating silently.

"Sod off, Marik," Bakura said through a mouthful of food, not looking away from Ryou.

Marik briefly narrowed his eyes at Bakura. Or of the corner of his eye, Bakura noticed this but totally ignored it.

Ryou decided to take the initiative and put a paper plate in front of his yami. "Don't be a slob, Yami," he said. He continued eating.

Bakura watched him eat. "Ryou, stop being so cute while you're eating. It's bloody annoying."

"Hypocrite," Ryou replied, after swallowing. "I could tell you to stop ripping food apart sexily because it's also bloody annoying."

"Touché, hikari." Bakura took several more bites of pizza. He realized he was done, so he put the crusts down on the paper plate and reached for another slice.

Ryou stood up and slapped his hand away. "Hold up!" he cried.

Bakura's eyes widened in surprise. 'Did that just happen?'

Marik and Melvin's faces showed that hey were thinking the same thing.

"Stop being so greedy, Yami. Save some for the rest of us, you've already had two." Bakura had drawn his hand back. Ryou took a slice of pizza and put it on his plate. Then he took the two pizza crusts from Bakura's plate and put them on his own. Then he sat down and continued eating the slice he hadn't yet finished eating.

Bakura had recovered from his shock.

Marik and Melvin hadn't.

"Is he allowed to do that?" Marik asked Bakura. He glanced at Ryou, and saw that he was in that cute state he could be in when he was eating. Cuz Ryou is adorable when he eats.

"No," Bakura replied with a quick glare at Ryou. "But I'm letting him get away with it for now because I know he's hungry and because I've dealt with enough today already to do anything about it."

"Since when do you do stuff like that, Ryou?" Marik asked.

Ryou shrugged and continued eating.

Melvin stood up and reached for the pizza box, having finished his slice and wanting another. He took a slice and sat back down. He continued eating quietly.

"Eh," Bakura said with a shrug. He reached for the pizza box again and took another slice. "He's a Bakura. He's not totally innocent or good. He does stuff like that, too."

"Oh," Marik said. He was just finishing off the crust of his current slice. "Kura what the frig, I was planning to take a second one!" There were only eight slices in the box. Ryou had taken two, Melvin had taken two, Bakura had taken three, and Marik had just finished the only slice he had taken so far.

Bakura paused mid-bite and side-glanced at Marik. He did nothing and finished his bite.

"Are you gonna give me that slice or what?" Marik asked.

Bakura shook his head.

"Well frig you, then," Marik said with a pout. He finished off the crust. He looked at Ryou. "So he got that from you?" he asked Bakura.

"Hm? That thing he did?" Bakura asked. "I don't know. Probably. He gets a lot of his bad habits from me. And by bad, I mean ones that his mummy wouldn't consider 'good boy' behavior." He grinned at Ryou.

Ryou frowned. "Bugger off."

"Really?" Marik asked. "I haven't noticed. Like what?"

"Not his eating habits, for sure. For once, certain skills such as the ability to give someone a death glare that can literally kill and the ability to pick locks. Stuff like that. There are probably other things he got from me that I don't know about, though."

Ryou suddenly stopped eating and blushed. He put his pizza slice down (which was almost finished anyway) and stated at the table.

"Speaking of which..." he mumbled too quietly for the others to hear. "Uh...Bakura...?" he said out loud, in a small voice.

Bakura looked at him. "What?"

"I need to talk to you later about something."

"What?" Bakura asked.

"I'll tell you later," Ryou replied quietly. He was aware of the fact that the other three were now staring at him.

Bakura suddenly noticed that Ryou was blushing faintly.

"In private?" he asked through the mind link.

"In private," Ryou replied.

"Sure whatever," Bakura replied out loud.

He glanced at Marik and Melvin, who were still looking at Ryou in confusion and curiosity. "You two mind your own business," he said to them.

Marik looked away and Melvin looked down at his food.

Ryou looked at his food as well and started eating his second slice. By then, Bakura had finished off his third slice, again leaving the crust, which Marik decided to take as compensation for not getting a second slice. Melvin had just finished his second slice.

The awkwardness that had just randomly appeared caused a random awkward silence that lasted until Ryou had finished his second slice. He started eating the two crusts Bakura had left.

Marik stood up and walked around the table, taking everyone's empty plate (except for Ryou's) and put them in the empty pizza box. Then he sat back down.

When Ryou finished, he took a napkin and walked around the table with his plate, using the napkin to sweep all of the crumbs off the table and onto the plate. Then he put the plate and napkin in the pizza box as well.

Marik silently closed the box and took it over to the garbage. Ryou sat down, folded his arms on the table, and rested his head on his arms. A moment or two later, Marik sat back down as well.

Another awkward silence followed, but this one was shorter.

Bakura sighed.

Ryou stood up. "I'm going to wash my hands." He started walking towards the hallway.

"There's a sink over here," Marik pointed out.

"I'm not going to use the kitchen sink to wash my hands," Ryou replied. "Plus, there are dishes in there."

Marik stood up and moved so he could see Ryou down the hall. "It's your turn by the way," Marik said.

Ryou paused in front of the hallway bathroom door and looked back at Marik. "No it's not. It's yours."

"I already did them this morning!"

"Nice try, Marik, but all of those dishes are from breakfast, not lunch. Your turn." Ryou opened the bathroom door and went inside.

"Frig," Marik said as the door closed. He walked back to the table and sat back down, sitting where Ryou had been sitting. He rested his arm on the table and rested his head on his arm.

Bakura glanced at him, then turned his gaze to Melvin. "You're awfully quiet."

"He's trying not to cause trouble," Marik said. "And he's succeeding, so don't ruin it."

"Wasn't planning to," Bakura replied.

Marik randomly reached for Bakura's hair and started stroking the back of it.

Bakura would have done something about it, but he was thinking about something else. "So when are we going over to tell him that you're moving in?" Bakura asked.

"Ae could go right now," Melvin said. "Marik, you're coming with me."

Marik sat up straight and stopped petting Bakura. "WHAT?! Why?!"

"Because I need one of you two advocate for me on behalf of you three. He's not going to let me move in just because I ask."

"Take Bakura," Marik said, pointing at Bakura.

"Leave him alone," Melvin said. "Let Ryou talk to him. You're going with me."

Marik pouted and looked at Bakura.

Bakura just shrugged. "He'll listen to you just as well as he would to me. Just tell him that I said hi and he'll be okay with you."

Marik reluctantly nodded. "Fine."

"Go now. Might as well. I _do_ want to talk to Ryou. Alone."

Marik rolled his eyes. "Sure fine whatever. Melvin! Let's go."

He stood up and walked to the door. Melvin stood up and followed.

"Ring the doorbell when you get back," Bakura said as he walked towards the hallway. "I want a warning."

Marik nodded. "Got it." He opened the door and walked out with Melvin, who closed it behind him.

Bakura walked into the hallway and headed for the bathroom.

* * *

**Hm...I wonder what's up with Ryou.**

**And I wonder if I hinted at something wrong with him, a few chapters ago.**

**Hm...**

**See you next chapter!**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEE~!**


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